Listen...

I'm only writing this morning because I don't want that placenta article to be the first thing on the page anymore. Staying up on current events is hard.

Here's a current event that happened yesterday: I went all day with the second button on my blouse NOT buttoned. I did not notice until I went to the bathroom at 4:45 p.m., after having been at the front counter four hours with a nice trip to the bank just for kicks.

See that second button? Pretend it's not done.

Seriously, people, when you see something like this, TELL A GIRL.

Another current event is a conversation I had with a caller at work, who was convinced I could tell him the exact square footage of a roll end. I cannot do that because no two roll ends are alike--they just take them off the press whenever they feel like they've gotten close enough, I guess. I understand, dude, that you want to use newsprint in your garden for that newfangled weed control system your neighbor told you about (that's awesome, actually. Eric, we need to look into this...), and I appreciate you giving both your numbers for when I find out (after saying three times I can't get you that info), but I am not going to call because the answer is NOBODY KNOWS. If you want to stop by and pick one up and just wing it? That I can help you with.

Maybe we should all try listening to the people talking to us for once. That would make my job a lot easier.

In other news, I have to cover a story tonight for the paper, which means I'll miss my favorite farmers' market. But the good news is that there's another market on Saturday, not my favorite, but still decent, so all is not lost. Sure, covering the news is important, but so is scoring fresh lettuce for Johanna's First Communion party this Sunday.

I will not be siting around this Mother's Day, I can tell you that much.

Oh, and P.S. We've had gorgeous sun and blue skies and 80-degrees all week. Sunday forecast is 70 and rain. Excellent barbecue weather!

Hilarious.

Today's news

SALEM -- The Oregon Legislature has agreed that mothers who've just given birth should be able to take home their placentas.

"For cultural reasons and other reasons many families like to take home the placenta after the baby is born," said Sen. Elizabeth Steiner Hayward, D-Beaverton.

The state Senate unanimously approved the bill, HB 2612, Monday, as the House did in March. The bill goes to Gov. John Kitzhaber. The governor's spokesman Tim Raphael says Kitzhaber anticipates signing the bill, but will review it first.

Under current state law, hospitals are prohibited from releasing hazardous medical waste, which includes human placentas. Oregon hospitals, however, have allowed mothers to take home their placentas for cultural and religious reasons.

Some mothers have their placentas put into capsules, which they consume in the belief it boosts their energy and staves off post-partum depression. Experts have said there is no scientific evidence of a health benefit.

***

This little AP report is how I woke up this morning, thanks to Eric's alarm, but I thought the guy said "casseroles" instead of "capsules." Holy shit! That got me up, I tell you what. Obviously I had to Google this one, which is how I learned it was actually "capsules," but wow, is that any better, really? Probably less chewy. Except if you read the entire article, it also talks about lasagnas and tortilla soups. Oh, and making prints and holding burials, but that seems boring compared to the rest of it.

P.S. Oregon is weird and also kind of awesome. I'm glad I live here.

P.P.S. Oh, hey, what about cord blood? I thought that was more of a thing for like curing diseases, but whatever, I guess. 

Thoughts on being a rock star AND a dork

I'm supposed to be writing my bi-monthly column RIGHT NOW since, um, deadline is in two hours, but you know what? I'm betting I can crank that thing out in 15 minutes. For some reason I don't feel like writing about the garden club or middle school projects just yet. The endurance needed for that kind of thing is higher than you'd think.

So here's what I'd rather write about:

I'm wearing a t-shirt in a color I adore (like a slate blue or something) but with a neck that is weird. Seriously, I feel like my shirt is on backwards but no, it's really not. What kind of neck is that? Anyway, I'm thinking of refashioning this thing. I mean, what could happen? I end up with some pretty colored rags, I guess. Huh. So now that I've thought about refashioning, I've decided to just put it in the rummage pile and let someone else worry about it.

Yesterday I wore a navy blue skirt that made me feel like a rock star. It's the kind of skirt I could wear every single day and not get tired of. That's pretty much the only criteria I have in regards to my closet. If I don't feel like a rock star, then what's the point?

Also yesterday, I embarrassed the family without even trying! Because I have skillz. I put on my pretty skirt and was prancing all around trying to remember if I'd shaved my legs properly when I got the genius idea of taking my razor out on the deck to see what was what. In my defense, it was sunny and awesome, and I could really see my hairs. It wasn't ladylike or terribly appropriate, but I did get the job done. And that's when I noticed our neighbor taking a walk--towards our house, which is at the end of a straightaway--looking my direction. She didn't call the cops, though, so you know what? I classify this as a win.

Today I am also wearing a skirt, but I took care of my legs in the shower this morning. You're welcome, world.