Zero Waste Wednesday: A couple of kitchen cleaners that are rocking my world

I'm deep into my zero waste project over at The Simple Year, and it's been both overwhelming and amazing. Overwhelming because there's still SO MUCH TO DO, and amazing because I now have an excuse to be full-on zero waste crazy.

Which is kind of fun.

Recently I've been researching do it yourself (also known as DIY, except I always want to say DYI. It flows better, don't you think?) ... everythings ... and found two kitchen cleaners that have passed all of my tests: They're simple, you can get everything you need for them in the bulk aisle, they smell fantastic, they clean like a champ, and nothing separates when you leave it in the bottle for extended periods of time.

So basically like a lazy girl's dream.

Total ingredients: Two.

All-Purpose Cleaner
1 cup warm water
1 tablespoon castile soap (I like peppermint)
Mix that around in a spray bottle and go to town. Give it a shake with each use.

Why this is so great: It takes very little to get a clean counter, it smells great, it's cheap and it's easy. This is my new favorite counter cleaner, and I have no desire to go look for any other recipe, THAT is how great this is.

Also, fun fact, I just learned that you aren't supposed to mix vinegar and castile, or you get the worst of both because of some scientific reaction that I'm not even going to pretend I understand. My old homemade cleaner mixed the two. I solemnly swear to never do that again.

Looks like marshmallow fluff, smells like candy canes.
Uh, if you use peppermint castile like me. ;)

"Soft Scrub" Sink Cleaner
6 tablespoons baking soda
2 tablespoons castile soap
1 1/2 tablespoons water
Mix and store in a jar.

Why this is so great: It's not great -- it's perfect. Again, it takes very little to clean my sink, it smells lovely, it's easy to knock together and cheap as hell, and it doesn't separate during storage. Go make this RIGHT NOW. See? I told you!!!

BONUS CLEANER: Did you know you can use used coffee grounds to clean and deodorize? You can put a jar in the fridge to absorb odors AND sprinkle in your pans to super scrub. Technically I haven't tried either of these yet, it just sounds weird which makes it right up my alley.

Pointless experiments: Tiny note project

(File this one under "stuff I forgot I was going to write about.")

Once upon a time, like in December, I took part in Courtney Carver's 31 Gifts You So Deserve. I think I even mentioned I was doing so at the time ... yep, HERE at the very end. Anyway, one of her gifts was writing tiny notes to say thank you, or I love you, or I'm thinking about you, and either sending them off into the world or taking a picture and emailing the sentiment.

My first thought was, wow, that would make a really fun little project someday!

Page from my journal, which is basically a dumping ground
for quotes I like and things I want to think about...

Someday, because December was already hella crazy. ;)

In February -- chosen because it's the month of love or whatever -- I decided to launch my tiny note project with the goal of one note mailed out per day for all 29 days. I even had fantasies of making the walk to the post office part of my daily work routine.

Well, THAT part didn't happen because I ended up getting sick and it was all I could do to, like, survive.

But the tiny note part? NAILED IT.

My tiny notes and my 2016 goal journal, which I made
from recycled paper and had bound, then decorated.

I found the perfect little blank note cards at the stationary store (purchased before my self-imposed buying ban for Lent. I had to really plan ahead!), and embellished them myself with stickers. I tended to do up a week's worth of cards at once and then mail them over the span of a few days before starting all over again.

One unforeseen obstacle was that, while I had plenty of people I could write to, they had to be people who wouldn't think I was weird for saying, "Hey, happy Valentine's month! I love you!" So at least a quarter of those on my list were children -- nieces and nephews mostly. I mean, kids don't think twice when you mail them a Valentine and tell them they're great and you love them so much. They're just like, RIGHT?! 

I figured that aunts, uncles, parents and in-laws would probably not think I was too weird, either, nor would my very best friends in this world.

I didn't get a lot of response from the project (which I understand -- people are busy! Actually my friend Shannon sent me a note to thank me for my note, and I was going to email to say thank you, and FORGOT. Shannon! I got your note!), but what I did hear was all positive. People like getting real mail even if they don't tell you that. And the point was to spread some love, not generate mail or thanks for myself, and you know what? Mission accomplished!

This was actually one of the funner projects I've embarked on. In case you're curious, my January goal was to make healthy choices (you can see my some of my scribbles for that in the picture above) and in March I tried to establish a nightly routine (and kind of failed). This month I'm just going for peace. I figure that will be hard enough. ;)

Zero Waste Wednesday (-ish): Homemade sore throat spray

As we established in my last post, I've been sick. You know, I usually get at least one cold in the winter (it's tradition), and I've had some bad ones, but wow, the one I'm fighting now has got to be the worst. I was taking pictures for an article on the high school's new theater production last night and had to leave the room because I'm still coughing / crying / clutching my broken sternum.* Although, fact: I actually slept through the night last night. I'm not sure what to do with so much good news. I kind of can't believe I'm ever going to feel better at this point.

Anyway, when this whole ordeal started, I found an organic throat spray at the grocery store and that has been my constant companion these last seven days. When I looked at the label, I discovered the ingredients were just apple cider vinegar, honey, and some herbs.

Hey, I own apple cider vinegar, honey, and some herbs! When I finished my 2-ounce bottle in five days, I kind of wanted to see what would happen if I made my own.

This is why we have the Internet. I found all kinds of "recipes," although they all seemed to call for essential oils, and on that front, my friends, I am sorely lacking.

Just to prove I actually made this, you get a crappy photo.
Apple cider vinegar + local raw honey + recycled
spray bottle = I'm a genius!

Eh, what could happen? I decided to try THIS recipe from One Good Thing By Jillee (because if you're ever trying to find a tutorial on anything, she's got one), except basically cut out everything that wasn't water, apple cider vinegar or honey.

Which means my recipe was just: 

• 3/4 cup water (supposed to be purified, I used tap because our tap water is amazing)
• 2 tablespoons raw, organic apple cider vinegar
• 2 teaspoons raw honey

... All heated up on my stovetop to melt the honey, and then put into my reused throat spray bottle. I had some left over, so I put that into a jar and popped it in the refrigerator because I didn't really know what else to do with it. P.S. To use, shake like mad first.

I suppose I could have added the sea salt ... but I didn't. My reasoning: Apple cider vinegar is used for its bacterial-killing properties and honey soothes, and water is just life or whatever, so good enough.

(Also: I was really tired when I made it.)

So of course now that I have said homemade throat spray -- which, I gotta say, tastes better than the store-bought one and actually sprays -- the tickle in my throat has abated. I've still used it (probably more than necessary) because I MADE THIS AND I'M SO EXCITED plus it's basically a habit at this point to cough and then spray. So I'm not sure exactly how well it works is what I'm saying. It can't hurt, that's for sure, so ... no harm, no foul.

In case you don't trust my tutorial and notes (and honestly, I don't blame you), I've got a few more links for you. Because I'm all about service and sharing knowledge, you guys.

THIS POST from The Hippy Homemaker lists a bunch of different herbs and whatnots that can be used to relieve sore throats. Huh, apple cider vinegar also loosens phlegm. Good to know.

THIS POST from Wellness Mama contains a recipe for a tincture where basically you're soaking herbs in vodka and then straining them, which sounds awesome.

And THIS POST from The Nerdy Farm Wife has both a spray recipe (using a tincture!) and herb lists for battling a sore throat.

As for the zero waste aspect of all of this: No purchased container to have to deal with later with the added bonus of already having all necessary ingredients on hand. Oh, wait, I think I'm supposed to do a pro/con list, sorry, it's been a while since I've done a post like this:

Pros
Got to reuse a bottle
Actually tastes fairly decent for a throat spray
No weird preservatives or ingredients I can't pronounce
Sprays well
Could probably also be used as a "swish" if you don't have a spray bottle

Cons
None that I can think of ... unless you just like going to the store when you're sick

*My sternum isn't actually broken. But something in that general area is definitely strained or sprained. Probably. I don't know, medical classes were sparse during my college days as an English major.

Homemade ranch dressing

Doesn't this look pretty?
Actually not mine. Public domain photo.
Well, we do what we can.

I made homemade ranch dressing on Saturday, and by Tuesday, we were on our third head of lettuce.

There's been a lot of salads in the Walker household is what I'm saying.

I figured that if it were THIS popular, then I may as well share it. While it's natural and organic (well, if you buy natural and organic ingredients), it's not zero waste -- our recycling plant will take the plastic sour cream container, but not the cardboard/whatever it is buttermilk carton. (It's a misconception that you can recycle anything -- there has to be an actual market for the end-product. Bummer. Money ruins everything.) I'm not really sure what to do about that. I just tried to figure out if those kinds of cartons can be composted, but I'm not finding any info. Anyone know?

Homemade Ranch Dressing

How it's written:
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1 large garlic clove, minced
1 tablespoon dried parsley or 3 tablespoons fresh
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
3/4 teaspoon sea salt (or to taste)
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/8-1/4 teaspoon dried dill (to taste)

Combine sour cream, buttermilk and lemon juice in a jar or mixing bowl. Shake or whisk to mix well. Add remaining ingredients and shake or whisk again until well combined. If using a bowl, transfer to a container with lid. Refrigerate one or more hours before using, and taste to adjust seasonings before serving.

For a thicker dip: Increase sour cream by 1/4 cup (or, conversely, add more milk, a little at a time, if a thinner consistency is desired).

Shake well before each use.

How I actually make it:
So the smallest buttermilk I can get at my store is a pint -- that's two cups for us Americans and 500 mL for the rest of the world -- and the percentage of me actually remembering and using 1 1/2 cups in other projects is roughly zero. So! I get two cups of sour cream, dump all that in my jar, then dump in the entire carton of buttermilk. I mean, really, what could happen?

THEN I go crazy and add a glug of lemon juice and start throwing in seasonings pretty much based on my ability to pay attention that day. And honestly, if I add 2 and a half tablespoons of dried parsley instead of the prescribed two (because I'm essentially doubling the recipe, remember), the world is NOT going to end. I find exact measurements for this kind of thing to be more of a guideline than the rule. (Eh, I'm 43. I've learned stuff.)

Oh, and I don't normally have onion powder, so I just add extra garlic powder -- yeah, I have garlic, but I prefer the powder in this recipe.

Um... I think that's it. It's not watery because of the extra buttermilk, but it IS a dressing, not a dip.

My quart of ranch (that's  4 cups for Americans and 1 L for everyone else) is just about gone now, and it's only Wednesday. Who knew this was all it took to get the girls to eat salad?

Bonus ramble:I googled "public domain ranch dressing" so I could find a photo to accompany this little post, since I'm too lazy to walk the three steps into the kitchen, take my container out of the fridge, and then try to make it look nice in a photograph, and THIS was part of the selection:

Maybe Hillary likes ranch?

The internet is so weird, you guys.

Pointless Experiments: Art journal

Before.

During. There is no after...

Once upon a time, like around May, Abby and I embarked into the world of art journals. Except that Abby actually is a great artist, while my talents lean more towards stick figures.

She takes after her father on that front.

I'd seen a bunch of art journal posts/whatnots on Tumblr, and it looked like a lot of fun. It's basically just an excuse to make a mess. You can actually buy journals that give you directions page by page (a la Wreck This Journal), or you can just buy a blank book and do whatever you want.

Guess which I chose?

Because I'm contrary, sure, but also because there's the whole non-artistic side of myself. I can write, you guys, but that's kind of how far my creativity stretches. I guess I was kind of a decent scrapbooker back in the day ... but that's more color combinations and layout than artistry.

Well, whatever. Maybe the biggest lesson in all of this has been not to compare my pages to Abby's. Hers are gorgeous. Mine are mine. I've gotten a little less judgmental of myself as the months go by and just try to enjoy the freedom of putting my thoughts on the page. Perfection is highly overrated.

Is it weird that a 43-year-old would embark on a new hobby of this sort? (It does seem rather like a teenage angst kind of ordeal.) Yeah, probably. But it's so fun, you guys. I'm already scoping out blank books for when my current one is filled.

P.S. Abby and I tend to do this together while we're watching Supernatural. I'm not sure what the lesson here is. Maybe scary crap lends itself to creativity? Oh, and she likes to go in order, but I skip around all over my book. That's just how I roll.

Some of my favorite pages (please don't judge):

Supernatural gives you plenty of time to doodle.

Technically Ann should be 5%, but I didn't
plan the Math very well.

Cat cutouts from magazines ... and then a little help from Johanna.

I got a book to review at work, but we don't
do that, so I took it home and cut it up. 'Cause it had
some awesome words and graphics, that's why.

Collage of birthday cards.

Two pages still in progress. I love writing down the random stuff
that comes out of Johanna's mouth.

Also created during Supernatural.

Another page by Johanna. I love it that
she knows this to be true.

Johanna's bakery

You guys, we have created a monster.

And it all started so innocently:

Trisha Morrissette Walker

May 5 at 7:01pm · Instagram

My greatest accomplishment as a mother has been teaching Johanna how to make chocolate frosting. Every time we're out of treats, she makes a batch. She's gotten quite good.

Around the third or fourth batch, I wondered if perhaps I had put the cart before the horse:

Trisha Morrissette Walker

May 13 at 6:26pm · Instagram 

It has occurred to me, belatedly I admit, that it's time to teach Johanna how to make cake...

The good news is that my mother saw my Facebook post and took it upon herself to teach Johanna how to make a cake. Or, more accurately, let Jo loose in her kitchen with the recipe and the ingredients, with help only on the oven front. Jo thought this was the BEST.

She brought her finished cupcakes home and frosted them with some leftover frosting (that was maybe her fourth batch, and it tasted like heaven. She is really getting good at chocolate frosting), and then started planning for her next creation.

Last week, she made orange frosting and my mother's white cake recipe:

I'm not entirely sure how she made the orange frosting, but I have a feeling she just winged it. It tasted like a Creamsicle but without the alarming neon color. It was seriously, seriously good.

Irony: She didn't like it. The cake was good, she thought, but the frosting wasn't her thing, which is too bad because she'll probably never make it again. Well, maybe if I ask nicely.

For her next batch, she was thinking of grinding up some leftover candy canes for a peppermint kind of extravaganza, but then she got distracted by a homemade cookie mix I'd been gifted:

The moral of this story is that we are up to our eyeballs in treats, Johanna has decided she'd like to be a baker when she grows up, and we're all pretty happy about the way this turned out, although my kitchen will probably never be clean ever again.

The end.

Pointless Experiments: Homemade vanilla latte

Me! I did that!

I think we've already established that I am a huge coffee fan. One of my very favorite treats is a vanilla latte, which I get at very fancy coffee shops Dutch Bros.

Look, you don't judge me and I won't judge you, okay? I'm a fan.

Since it's Lent, and I've given up processed foods, vanilla lattes have not been on the menu. I don't buy flavored syrups, so I'm not sure of the exact ingredient list, but I think it's safe to assume there's more than four, plus: High fructose corn syrup. I hate that stuff. Unless you are a major manufacturer of HFCS, in which case, it's great! It just makes me feel dizzy and kind of pukey is all, but that's totally on me.

Um, never mind.

Anyway, the moral of this whole story is that I was missing my vanilla lattes (because some days are just hard) and it finally occurred to me that there HAD to be a way to make these suckers at home, even if I don't have an espresso machine.

Right? How hard can it be?

So I tooled around on the internets for a little while, searching for "homemade latte." Apparently everyone just has espresso machines because wow, that did not go very well at first. But eventually I caught on that what I really needed to be searching for was "latte in a microwave." Bingo! That produced the results I was looking for.

Everything you need. P.S. I'm not the only one who stores my vanilla
syrup in a repurposed whiskey bottle, right?

It's taken some tweaking, but here's how I've managed to pull this off. You will need:

1. Milk (apparently the higher the fat content, the better, but I buy 1 percent so that is what gets used)
2. Glass jar with plastic lid (lids here)
3. Coffee!
4. Coffee cup and filter cone! And an actual filter
5. Vanilla syrup (homemade recipe below)

While you boil your water, place coffee inside filter. I mean, just like you'd make any ol' cup of joe, except maybe add a couple extra scoops to give this thing some strength. We like strong around here.

Not much to look at yet.

Time to make the coffee.

It's hard to take a photo one handed.

Time to make the magic milk. Step one: Add to jar, place on lid and shake like mad.

Photo by Johanna. I just eyeball it as far as measurements go.

You truly do have to shake like mad because that's how you're going to get the foam, my friends. That's science! Next, place that in the microwave for a minute.

When it comes out, you get this!

Foamy! I kind of can't believe this works.

P.S. I'd be remiss if I didn't tell you that every single time the milk leaks out from the lid and into the microwave. That's just opportunity cost.

Now add some vanilla syrup to your cup.

Again, I just eyeball it. But the more the merrier, really.

Finish by pouring in warmed milk and spooning foam over the top.

I cleaned my counter for this series so you get to see IT ALL.

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

Meet my best friend, the vanilla latte.

You guys, this is like one of those things that has completely revolutionized my life. Like when I learned to make Naan. Or spice rub. Which is why I'm so excited to get to share it with you.

As a little bonus, here's how I make my own vanilla syrup. The recipe is originally from Paula Dean's website, but I've modified it. Okay, I just add more water and vanilla and have traded the brown sugar for sucanat. What do you want from me?

Vanilla Syrup

1 1/2 cups sugar

1/4 cup brown or sucanat sugar

2 cups water

2 tablespoons--or a good glug--of homemade vanilla

Stir sugars into water and bring to a low boil; simmer 10 minutes. Is it syrupy? Then it's good to go. Add vanilla. Cool. Or not. Store in refrigerator.

You're welcome.

Light 2015: Grocery store edition part II

Source
WWI poster. Fascinating!

Well, people, here we are, five days after my bold Declaration of Independence decision to focus on working off the food stores cluttering my freezer and cupboards, and you know what? This week was mostly full of win.

I love mostly full of win!

So yadda yadda yadda, here's what we ate:

Oatmeal coconut chocolate chip cookies. When our store's bulk aisle was 20 percent off across the board a few months back, I went nuts. I don't cook a lot with either oatmeal or coconut, so why did I buy vast amounts of those items? Huh, I forget. On the plus side, I had all the right ingredients for this basic oatmeal cookie recipe, to which I added a cup of shredded dried coconut and a cup of chocolate chips. I got that idea from a fancy-pants organic market in town that sells such cookies for $2 each. I'm kind of a copying genius.

Roasted chicken. I bought an organic chicken months and months ago and just tossed it into the freezer instead of dealing with it in a timely manner. I finally got it defrosted, but Eric gets the credit for this one, since he popped it into the oven right before he headed out the door to watch the Ducks vs. Bucks game at his brother's. We ate on this thing for three days straight and still had leftovers for the freezer. Gah, more freezer clutter. I guess we're having chicken soup next week.

Stir-fry veggies and rice. Before my decision to go all anti-shopping, my favorite grocery had a 13 hour produce sale, and I bought all manner of lettuce, broccoli, celery, carrot, onion cucumber, apple, banana and (one) pineapple (which looked kind of sketch but ended up being delicious). You can't really put a cucumber in a stir fry, but everything else (well, vegetable-wise) was fair game. Except! I forgot to cut up the onion! Ah, well. It was still delicious. Especially sprinkled with a little Walker Rub.

Oh, and the rice? Another casualty of that aforementioned bulk aisle super sale.

Pan roasted pork chops with caramelized onions. We have half of a very happily, humanely raised hog in the freezer, and one of my favorite ways to deal with pork chops is to pan roast: Starting the chops in my cast iron skillet with a little olive oil to brown, then finishing off the whole ordeal in a 450º oven. I also caramelized an onion because I have a bag of those things now so what the heck?

Turkey pot pie. Duuuuudes, we still have Thanksgiving turkey in the freezer. Like, a lot of turkey. I happened to have all the ingredients for a turkey pot pie (which used up some turkey, a couple cups of leftover frozen chicken broth, and quite a few of the fresh veggies listed above). Unfortunately, my recipe is 19 years old, and, having been cut out of a newspaper, I can't find any comparable links. (Basically, you need a bottom crust patted into a pie plate; then you make a roux with 4 tablespoons of butter, four tablespoons of flour and 1 cup of chicken broth, add your cooked chicken or turkey, add some frozen veggies--in this case I used fresh sautéed--and pour over the bottom crust. Um, duh. Then you either add a top crust or some kind of biscuit topping, and bake in a 425º oven for like 20 minutes. This is all from memory, though, so buyer beware.)

Johanna thinks turkey pot pie is disgusting. Well, she hates cooked vegetables. But Abby and Eric and I are fans. A 3/4 win is better than nothing!

Also, afterthought: Why didn't I roast the chicken first and use the leftovers there for the pot pie? Perspective! Now you have it.

***

In retrospect, this looks fairly boring, but you know what? We all got fed, which is most of the battle right there. One downside of not stocking up: We ran out of cheese on Wednesday, there's no soy sauce anywhere to be found, and the girls are going through withdrawals because the Annie's Cheddar Bunnies are long gone.

But hey! Progress!

P.S. The rest of the month is going to be The Great Pantry and Freezer Clean-out Part II--because my food hoarding tendencies are not just a one-week to fix kind of ordeal--but I won't check in about it again until the end of the month, just FYI. And if anyone feels like sharing their own experiences with this in the comments, I would truly love that.

Source
And here I thought Victory Gardens
were just a WWII thing...

Light 2015: Grocery store edition

I am not 100 percent sure why, but I am a bit of a food hoarder. Minimalism in the rest of my life? Sure, no problem. But when it comes to food? Minimalism goes right out the window.

Every. Single. Time.

Source
I did a search for pantry pictures and this is what came up. I'm not strong
enough to resist something like this, even though I've never been a Woody
Woodpecker fan. That guy is just annoying.

I've learned so much since becoming a minimalist, and I think it's time I get my act together on the food clutter front.

Some of it I can justify: I like to can local produce in the summertime, and we have half a (FFA) hog in the freezer. My Christmas gifts mainly involved fruit jams and butters, and that takes space to store. But most of it I cannot: The soups and tomato sauces and the bags of candy I bought at Halloween because they were only $1.79 each.

I's not uncommon for me to buy what's on my list--or not--in multiples. It's worse if something is on sale because then I really stock up.

What am I even doing?

You guys, I have no idea. But it needs to stop. I'm not prepping for disaster.* I'm just trying to feed four people for a seven days at a time.

So this week, my goal is to make a dent in the stockpile--and to be very aware of my overbuying tendencies while at the store. I tried SO HARD during my weekly shopping gig to just stick to my list. And I mostly did. Well, Abby was with me, and she really wanted to try the organic fruit snacks, and I let her toss them in the cart.

Ahem.

I don't have a concrete plan in place, but I have some vague outlines in mind. I'll check in on Friday to let you know how it went and how creative I had to be. ;)

*Oh, I know. Our area extension office encourages everyone to have a 72-hour emergency kit in their basement for when The Big One strikes. While we don't have emergency kits, we could totally make it, although we might get sick of, say, home-canned peaches and pickles by the time it was over. On the bright side, there's also the Halloween candy.

Cookie Joy: Cinnamon Sugar Cookies

Happy Monday, you guys! I've got a recipe to share with you that I'm kind of excited about. Once upon a time, when all was right in the world and Everyday Food magazine was still in circulation, I made these lovely cinnamon sugar cookies for the fam. I had every intention of decorating them, but alas and alack, they were gobbled up before I had the chance.

I call that a win.

This year, as in yesterday, Abby decided what she REALLY wanted to do more than ANYTHING in the world was make cutout cookies. Excellent. Hey, guess what, though? In my minimalistic frenzy, I got rid of all my Christmas cookie cutters. Oops. No worries, I just called my Mommy, who let me borrow hers. 

So I swung by my parents' house to pick up the cookie cutters on my way to the grocery store (I had all the ingredients on hand, but it was my day to go), and by the time I got back, Abby was "really into this math homework." Lo, I say unto you: Whose kid is this? I seriously wonder sometimes, vivid birth memories be damned. Shockingly, after the cookies started rolling out of the oven, she deemed it time for a study break.

I had hoped to show them decorated. It was not meant to be.

I used a couple of cutters I vividly remember from my youth, so that was fun. Thanks, Mom. Also: This is the first time in almost three years I've looked for something I needed and couldn't find it. I told the girls we could just make round "ornament" cookies with a drinking glass (Johanna was all, yeah!, and Abby was all, lame!), but I like this borrowing thing even better because traditions!

Cinnamon Sugar Cookies
Link: Everyday Food, Dec. 2006

2 cups all-purpose flour (spooned and leveled), plus more for rolling 
1/2 teaspoon baking powder 
1/4 teaspoon salt 
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 
8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature 
1 cup granulated sugar 
1 large egg 
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract 
decorating sugar and candies, such as nonpareils and red cinnamon dots (optional) 
confectioners sugar, for decorating (optional)

Make the dough: In a large bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. Set aside. In another large bowl, using an electric mixer, beat butter and granulated sugar until light and fluffy. Beat in egg and vanilla. With mixer on low speed, gradually add flour mixture; beat until combined. Divide dough in half; form into two 3/4-inch-thick disks. Wrap each in plastic; refrigerate until firm, at least 1 hour. (TRISHA'S NOTE: This is a lot of work. I just beat the butter and sugar together, add the egg and vanilla, then add the flour et al. Also, forget wrapping the disks in plastic and refrigerating; I just go for it then and there. You guys, I got stuff to do.)

Roll out and freeze: Place one disk between two sheets of floured parchment paper; roll out to an 1/8-inch thickness, lightly dusting dough with flour as needed. Cut out shapes with cookie cutters; if dough gets soft, chill 10 minutes. (To bake right away, follow directions in step 3.) Using a metal spatula with a thin blade, transfer cut-out shapes to a parchment-lined baking sheet. Re-roll scraps; cut more shapes. Repeat with remaining disk. Place baking sheet in freezer; once frozen, transfer shapes to a resealable plastic bag. Freeze up to 1 month. (TRISHA'S NOTE: Huh. Never tried this.)

Bake: Preheat oven to 325ºF. Line baking sheets with parchment; bake until edges are golden, 10 to 15 minutes, rotating sheets halfway through--this time range applies whether dough is frozen or not. Cool cookies 1 minute on sheets, and transfer to wire racks to cool completely. (TRISHA'S NOTE: Wait, you're supposed to rotate halfway through? Oops.)

Zero Waste Wednesday: "Homemade" castile soap

You know what I love? A theme. And do you know what else I love? Eric. I'm also kind of into zero waste, except that's a little trickier because I tend to get bogged down in the mire of failure instead of celebrating my (usually minimal, maybe that's fitting) successes. Or not successes. Sometimes all there is to celebrate is the fact that you tried.

And since I'm also a fan of alliteration, I present Zero Waste Wednesday, which I hope to make a monthly or bi-monthly kind of ordeal to step up my zero waste game and to share what I've learned. Fun fact: We live in a tiny tourist-trap of a town with limited options. Realistically, we're never going to reach zero waste, but hey, we do what we can do, right?

Here's a project I've been meaning to try for ages: Turning a bar of castile soap into a gallon of liquid castile soap. I first read about this insanity in Bea Johnson's Zero Waste Home and I haven't been able to get this idea out of my head.

Final result looks suspiciously successful.
Spoiler alert: Don't get your hopes up.

Maybe because I tried this several months ago with an unwrapped bar of organic olive oil soap that smelled like sandalwood, and let me tell you, it was a disaster. It smelled amazing, but it was the consistency of thick snot. Also, it turns out that sandalwood is not really the scent I'm going for when I'm cleaning. I don't particularly like smells, and that one just did not do much for my general constitution. It was all wrong.

I chalked that failure up to the brand of soap I purchased. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be anything but a bar? I used the entire gallon up, of course (because that's what a responsible person does when she's pissed off at snot soap) and then bought a nice bar of Dr. Bronner's Peppermint Castile Soap because hello, this dude also makes liquid castile, so logically this should work, right?

You guys, I am a huge fan of Dr. Bronner's liquid peppermint castile soap. It's one of the few smells I like, and at this point in my homemade cleaner career, I now associate peppermint with cleanliness. True story. But Dr. Bronner's liquid soap is expensive--even when I buy it in bulk. And the bars, comparatively ounce for ounce, are not.

Or maybe they are. I never claimed to be a math genius.

Yadda yadda yadda, that bar has been sitting in my kitchen for literally six months. During my blogging break, I decided it was time to quit looking at that thing and just get 'er done already.

Also, I was completely out of liquid castile and needed to fill up our soap dispensers.

I didn't bother to get out my copy of Zero Waste Home because I was pretty sure I remembered the directions and also because Johanna was on my iPad, where the book resides. (It's also on my Kindle, now that I think about it, but it's not as pretty.) Eh, what could happen?

So I grated the soap. I had to do it by hand, which wasn't actually all that hard, but I was kind of regretting throwing away the shredding attachment on my food processor, even if it did almost take two of my fingers off this summer.*

When I was done, my bar of soap looked like cheese:

It's the cheesiest. Just kidding. Don't eat the soap!

Carefully** following the directions I thought I remembered, I added some water and then let that whole ordeal sit overnight:

I was supposed to add a gallon of water, but who has time to
measure? From making iced coffee all summer, I have a pretty
good estimate of what a gallon looks like in my favorite pot.

Then all that was left to do was walk away. The next morning, I checked my pot and found this:

Not the most attractive concoction ever.

I know this is completely disgusting, but my heart lifted a little bit when I saw this because my last attempt did not look like this at all. I mean, it was kind of looking like liquid castile already, which is most of the battle right there.

Next you're supposed to use an immersion blender to get it all nice and mixed, but I don't actually own an immersion blender, so I just got out a whisk and did the best I could. Which sort of worked. And then I went to pour it into my containers.

Which is when I discovered that this soap was also the consistency of thick snot. "Pouring" it into my jars created a pool of snot on my counter. Ah, well. So I got out my ladle, which would slink back to half-filled every time I dipped it into the pot.

So it took a while is what I'm saying.

Hey, though, the real test came when I poured said mixture into our foaming soap pumps. With Snot Soap I, there was no foaming action at all. Would Snot Soap II be any different?

Nope. And I tried various rations of soap vs. water, but to no avail.

So the moral of this rather longish tale is that again we have liquid castile soap failure, and I'm not going to go for a third attempt because:

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a damn fool about it. -- WC Fields

I mean, it's not a total failure because I've been using Snot Soap II to clean my dishes in the sink, and it works pretty well, although news flash: Castile isn't really the foamiest of soaps for that kind of thing, so if you're used to a sinkful of suds, this might be a bit of a stretch for you. Having used castile before for dishes, I'm fine with it.

Oh, and P.S. I thought maybe I just needed to add more water to make Snot Soap II not quite so snotty, but those attempts haven't been successful, either. But maybe that's just because I have limited patience and at this point, I honestly don't care anymore. My liquid castile soap dreams: Crushed.

To recap:

Pros:
Recyclable wrapper on Dr. Bronner's bar
Zero waste all the way around
Gets dishes squeaky clean

Cons:
Doesn't work in my foaming soap pumps
Snot!
Bruised ego

The end.

*Well, more like almost took two fingers off, if by "almost" you mean "took about ten layers of skin and bled like mad." I seriously thought I was going to need a transfusion, that's how much blood loss we're talking about. Also, it was rather terrible timing because Abby had a friend over and they were in the kitchen checking on the progress of dinner and all of a sudden I'm bleeding all over the floor and that kind of killed the moment. Anyway, I threw that blade in the trash ASAP. I need my fingers, that's why.

**Just kidding. "Carefully following" and "directions" are not words that usually meet in my world.

Dear Diary: My non-processed food week

Source
Lady Bird Johnson? Or Trisha Walker? Hint: Not me.

Monday, Oct. 27

Day 1

Dear Diary,

You know what's interesting? "Diary" and "Dairy" are pretty much the same, and yet so different. Words are weird. You know what else is weird? Purposely taking yourself off processed foods--I like to define that as anything with more than four ingredients, unless you're Fritos, in which case your three ingredients don't cut it, Mister--during this season of Halloween candy and gluttony and treats galore. I guess you have to do something to pass the time. Also, it's possible I'm a masochist.

Today I woke up with sleep in my eyes and resolve in my heart. Breakfast: Plain yogurt sweetened with homemade blackberry jam. One-point-five cups of coffee laced with milk because that's how I roll. Felt strong. Felt like I could do this thing.

Lunch: Asian pear, Braeburn apple, nut butter from the organic bulk aisle, and a lettuce-cucumber-cream cheese sandwich on a ciabatta roll. You may or may not count ciabatta as processed. It's from the grocery bakery, and claims to have six ingredients, one of which is water. Wait, what the hell is soybean oil? Oh. Yuck. Sounds like Monsanto has its hands on my buns.

Well, that's depressing.

Had a rather nutritious snack of whole almonds and dried apricots (both organic), which I was happy to have packed because I had a photo shoot at 5:20 p.m., and that is right smack when I should be eating dinner. I also had two cups of cinnamon-vanilla tea. Doesn't that sound delicious? Spoiler alert: It's not. Tea is just crappy water. Which is what everything tastes like when it's not coffee.

Oh, and confession: I had two coffee-flavored candies. Nine ingredients. Oops. But they are natural, and since I usually eat 10 at a sitting, I'm counting that a win.

Dinner consisted of leftover homemade black bean soup and a quesadilla (both mostly organic), and some leftover apple slices from lunch, and then two homemade chocolate chip, what?, cookies. It took all my willpower not to eat a third. Night is the hardest for me on the food front. Give me sugar or give me... well, salt, I guess, except I'd rather have the sugar when push comes to shove.

Who cares, sugar craving be damned, drinking water, yummy yummy water, just kidding, water is terrible, but on the upside, at least it's not tea.

And I'll probably sleep GREAT tonight without all that sugar in my veins, right?

*****

Tuesday, Oct. 28

Day 2

Dear Diary,

Up all night peeing. Tired. Cranky. Made myself a cup of hot chocolate this evening because I needed a treat, too many ingredients to count, don't judge me, it's organic and practically a health food and I'm premenstrual.

*****

Wednesday, Oct. 29

Day 3

Dear Diary,

New resolve! Can I just give a shout-out to my breakfast mainstay, Brown Cow plain yogurt, sweetened with maple syrup? Because that's my go-to, and it serves me well. The other day the store was out of plain yogurt, so I bought my previous go-to, maple flavored, and found it was too sweet. When I started with the plain, it was too sour. Now it's delightful. Taste buds are freaky.

So I've been trying to cut back on the coffee, which is why I bought the cinnamon-vanilla tea, and yes, I'm still drinking that. It might taste like crappy water, but it's hot crappy water, and my Ron Swanson mug feels good in my hands. But today, I made the trek to the coffee shop for my usual decaf Americano with room, and even though I was behind a couple of guys, the barista recognized me, asked if I wanted my decaf and put her hand out for my Kleen Kanteen. I'm not sure if that is awesome or indicative of a greater problem.

This morning before I left for work, I threw a pork roast and fingerling potatoes into the crock pot, so we had barbecued* pork sandwiches for dinner. Ciabatta loaves were on sale at the grocery bakery this week, so I bought a couple for the freezer. I'm afraid to look, but I'm sure Monsanto has its hands on my loaf, too. Dammit, you guys! Just quick sucking, okay? Jeez.

So not the worst day is what I'm saying.

*Barbecue sauce made locally by our one barbecue joint. More than four ingredients, but none of them is corn syrup, and most are spices. I'm calling it a win.

*****

Thursday, Oct. 30

Day 4

Dear Diary,

For lunch today, I went to this cute little bakery and ordered the three-cheese panini (with caramelized onions) and a bag of sea salt Kettle Chips. And an Americano. Because I just couldn't face that damn tea.

And it was delicious. And I only felt slightly guilty. This bakery is all about fresh and local, so... that's something, right?

*****

Friday, Oct. 31

Day 5

Dear Diary,

This day? Was a total fail. Ah, and I went into it so hopeful.

Since we're pretty much out of every foodstuff imaginable in this household, packing a lunch wasn't really an option. But I had a plan. I threw in an apple and some nut butter--that I did have--and hit the grocery store on my way to work, to pick up a croissant from the bakery (didn't read the ingredients because I'm afraid of the soybean oil), a cheese stick and a small carton of Brown Cow cherry-vanilla yogurt (mmmm!), but then I also bought one box each of crackers and granola bars. The croissant wasn't organic, but everything else was, and... I'm sorry, Diary, but I can only make so many good choices when I'm on my period. (TMI?) Plus I hadn't had breakfast yet and I was starving.

Back at the office, line editing, eating a granola bar, ignoring the pan of brownies inches away from my desk, feeling pretty good about myself. Then the general manager announces she's ordered us Subway sandwiches for lunch.

It's funny how something like this can break a person's resolve completely. Lunches were brought in, and I won't lie, I picked my sandwich based on the Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips included in the bag. The sandwich ended up being ham, and I can't tell you the last time I actually ate lunch meat; that's one thing I haven't really gone back to since Lent ended in April, and I haven't missed it, either.

Ah, but it was good.

The included cookie was a white chocolate chip-macadamia nut ordeal, and there's no way I could eat that, even if it wasn't non-processed week, so I passed it off to Adam in sports. There's nothing like giving away your cookie to make you a hit with your co-workers.

So that was one for the plus side, but then Baby Ben (not to be confused with Old Ben, who is probably 10 years younger than me but worked in the office before Baby Ben, hence the nickname) got permission to crack open the pop machine, and I kind of lost my head. I had a Pepsi in my hands before I even knew what was going on.

Lovely, lovely GMO corn! Irony: I voted yes on Measure 92.  Also, that was sarcasm, the lovely GMO part.

So between the pop and the chips and the preservative-laden sandwich, I was like, well, this day is screwed, so I ate as many coffee-flavored candies as I wanted, and then came home and ate two Reese's Peanut Butter Cups out of the freezer. When we took Johanna trick-or-treating (that's another post for another time), I ate two cookies at my parents' house. (Well, those ARE natural, they just don't count as non-processed because of the chocolate chip eyes the pumpkins were sporting.) Came home feeling like crap.

But I accept that fate. I knew what would happen. And there's always tomorrow to auto-correct.

*****

Saturday, Nov. 1

Day 6

Dear Diary,

What was that I said about auto-correct? Just never you mind.

Because this day was also a total fail. It started out okay--I made Johanna and I scrambled eggs for breakfast, from a co-workers pet hens that seriously live the good life--but then dissolved into crap. For lunch, I had crackers with nut butter (again, organic, just not non-processed), and then a beautiful Comice pear... with leftover caramel sauce I'd made for Johanna's classroom Halloween party at her request. Technically not processed (it's just sugar, butter, vanilla and cream--I decided to forego the salt), but when you're coming off a sugar fest, probably not the best idea ever.

Yadda yadda yadda, throw in some more coffee-flavored candies (why do I buy those again? They're obviously made of crack), two more Halloween cookies at my mother's house, a lovely slice of New York-style* Canadian bacon and pineapple pizza, and another Pepsi, and you're just looking at a gut bomb of epic proportions. And it's all my fault, so I can't even be mad at anyone but myself.

Why, Diary? Why am I such a slow learner? Why is my resolve so, so weak?

*Keep in mind the farthest east I've been is Wisconsin, so I have no idea how New York this New York-style pizza really is, except Baby Ben seems to think it's decent enough, and he is from that state, so there you go.

*****

Sunday, Nov. 2

Day 7

Dear Diary,

Here's what I learned from my non-processed week: My diet is far from non-processed, even when I'm actually trying. There's a prevailing feeling of if it's organic, it's healthy! in my general constitution, which makes no sense because organic crackers are still crackers.

Blerg.

Abby has declared today to be Vegetable Day, mostly because it's been Carb Weekend and she's thinking maybe enough is enough. We have a weird relationship with food in this household, I'm beginning to realize--we mostly eat very naturally, but we just can't help ourselves with the crap sometimes. And by "sometimes," I mean "daily."

Today is my grocery day, so that's what I put in the cart: Lots and lots of fruits and veggies. And then made sure those which could be prepared for ease of grabbing were thus prepared accordingly. Actually, because my choices were cook or clean, I chose "cook" (obviously!), so our fridge is now brimming with all manner of options, from homemade rice and beans to plain ol' carrot sticks to banana muffins. Abby might be on a carb cleanse, but I am not.

I don't know, Diary. I started strong, got depressed, revived, and ultimately failed. It's been a whirlwind of emotion in the Walker household.

Here's to next week's attempt.

*****

Epilogue

I have linked a lot of product sites here, but that's just in case you're not sure what I'm talking about, my international friends. This is NOT in any way implying you should go purchase any this stuff. Actually, please don't. Thank you.

Um, but that caramel sauce recipe? I do recommend that one. That's just good stuff.