Goodbye, Skilly

Heartbreaking news: We unexpectedly lost Skilly on July 5, and it's taken the wind right out of our sails.

Literally the world's most beautiful cat -- inside and out.

The short story is that he went from perfectly fine to NOT FINE in less than a minute on the Fourth of July, but never did I think that whatever he was dealing with would be life threatening. We got him into the vet on July 5 -- he wasn't really able to stand by then -- and learned that he had a blockage in his bladder and was in kidney failure.

This has hit me hard, and I was feeling kind of sheepish about that until my acupuncturist told me that people often feel the deaths of their pets harder than that of humans because we have a very different relationship with them -- they're always there, and it's a very intimate relationship, i.e. lots of pets and hugs and you sleep with them, et al.

So that made me feel a little better.

Final resting place in the garden, by the blueberries. I like to
think he would approve, as he loved to help us pick them.

But it's still really hard. We keep looking for him. We had routines built from morning to evening that were Skilly-centric. He was the best cat ever, and he's left a huge hole.

Johanna is all for getting another cat right away (and naming it Pickles after her favorite cat in Neko Atsume, which has caused nightly fights between the girls because Abby hates that name, apparently), but Eric and I aren't in a hurry. We need some time to heal and just be.

Life is pretty boring when it's free of cats, but that's our reality.

Apologies

Ooooooh boy. I'm sorry, you guys, I had no plans of letting this much time go by between posts. Having my zero waste project over at The Simple Year is taking up more time than I expected.

Although I am thoroughly enjoying it.

I'm trying to figure out how to sum up a month in one little update, and I'm not sure that I can. The girls are in their last week of school. Abby was elected ASB president for next year. I am having a breakdown because I'll have a sixth grader and a senior come Friday, and I'm not emotionally stable enough to handle that responsibility. Skilly is making all sorts of new friends now that the weather is nicer (or it WAS nice; it's freezing now) but is having a hard time not killing them (I feel bad for the birds, but not for the mice). I've been reading a lot. I'm making my own homemade deodorant now and it's awesome. I'm kind of tired, but I think that's the weather. I made sorbet out of gross canned peaches (they were too soft when I canned them) and it tastes like peach pie. Eric is terribly impressed with my abilities. And I also appreciate that he's accepted my zero waste craziness with total support.

Oh, and I just took my sorting test on Pottermore and I'm a Gryffindor, obvs, and my wand is ebony with unicorn hair, 13.5 inches and is slightly springy and flexible. Again, duh.

It's my wand and it's gorgeous.

Abby is a Slytherin and Johanna is a Hufflepuff. Both girls have 14.5 inch wands with unicorn hair cores, but I can't remember the wood type. Eric was going to take the test too until he realized he had to create an account. That boy does not do accounts.

We've covered the truly important things now. So yeah, I think that's pretty much it.

April books

April ended up being a pretty good book month -- the eLibrary really came through. Actually it came through a little too well, as I've got a couple of books I haven't been able to crack open yet. As long as I keep my Kindle in airplane mode, I can keep them in my queue. Otherwise, they'll get automatically checked back in -- they're way over their due dates.

Is that against eLibrary law? I have no idea. Or regrets.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future by Michael J. Fox (177 pages)
So, look. I think this book is supposed to be for, like, graduates (high school or college, either is fine) who are looking for advice from this actor guy who has had the highest highs and the lowest lows. Or something. And I think this is supposed to be reassuring, as in, "I've made mistakes and I've taken some chances and some crap happened and some good happened, and that's just life."

But you guys... this is drivel. I have "Lucky Man" on my Kindle (I bought it when Amazon had it on sale for 99-cents), and that was actually kind of interesting. This is just a reserving of his other writings meant to suck you in with the ol' Back to the Future reference, because who doesn't like Back to the Future?

In other words, I'm not really his target audience. On the upside, it only took a couple of hours to get through, and I had nothing better to do anyway. Another upside: I got this on my eLibrary account, and I got to check it out IMMEDIATELY. That never happens.

But lord, it's dull.

One Good Turn: A Novel (Jackson Brodie Book 2) by Kate Atkinson (433 pages)
I like Kate Atkinson. She writes fun books. Her use of language is fun, I mean. Sometimes her storylines are just alarming.

Eh, but what could happen? I was again on eLibrary, trying to find something to read (irony, since I can buy stuff now), and I remembered how I enjoyed "Case Histories" (or Jackson Brodie Book One) and I just wrote about how much I love "Life After Life," so really, it was a no-brainer to add this to my virtual book bag. Or whatever.

Just like in "Case Histories," we're introduced to a whole load of different characters who, eventually, you realize are all part of the same story. The ending on this one, though? I did NOT see that coming.

This was enjoyable enough -- I scarfed it down in three days -- but in some places I found myself just skimming because I wanted to hurry up and see how it ended. That's why I generally have to read books twice: Once to get it down quickly, and once to actually read it. ;)

I liked it. I immediately went and placed a hold on "When Will There Be Good News?" which is the third in the series. Our eLibrary doesn't have any of her other books, though, which is a bummer because I'd love to read "A God In Ruins" (with Teddy from "Life After Life"). Ah, well.

Carry On by Rainbow Rowell (529 pages)
You guys, I was not prepared for how much I was going to love this book. It's the ... well, it's the fictional book that's featured in "Fangirl," another Rainbow Rowell novel (which I thought was okay, but kind of long). So I sort of knew what it was going to be about, just because excerpts from THAT book are in THIS book.

Except she hadn't written it yet.

Anyway, seriously, I LOVE THIS BOOK. Another eLibrary ordeal, but I think I'm going to have to buy it. It's fun, well-written, and just when you think you know how it's all going to end -- because we've all read these "chosen one fantasy stories" more than once -- she changes it up.

Read it twice. (But only counted the total in my "pages read" once.) Rainbow Rowell is awesome.

Pages read: 1,139
Plus all the other pages I've read: 3,267
Equals! 4,406

Um... a small announcement

Hey there, my internet friends! Today is not only my favorite mother-in-law's birthday and my cousin Seth's wedding, but Earth Day!

That's a lot of awesome packed into one little day.

We love you, Seth and Ashley!

I have a bit of an announcement to share that is definitely eco-friendly and is going to make me really have to step up my game:

So you guys, it's not really going to come as a surprise that I am a minimalist and that I'm trying to pursue a zero waste lifestyle. The minimalism is easy, the zero waste is hard. I tend to get sort of lax on the zero waste front, because I'm easily frustrated and it's kind of impossible anyway, no matter how hard you try.

Well... that's what my mind keeps telling me.

Um, so anyway, I follow a blog called The Simple Year. It's about women and the projects they undertake to "simplify." That's in quotes because simple is never actually simple. We had Kerry, who bought nothing new for a year, and Kandice, who downsized just about everything in her life, and Tracy, who has been working on a series of objectives to declutter and organize.

But each project only lasts a year, and when the group called out for applications for the coming year's Simple Year, I applied with the idea of a zero waste project.

And my proposal was accepted.

So I'm the new Simple Year contributor.

It's slowly occurring to me what I've signed up for. Not that it won't be completely awesome -- I'm so excited! But I'm also nervous. When I found out my project had been selected and told the family what I'd signed us all up for, the conversation went something like this:

Eric: So Mom has some exciting news.
Abby: You'd better not be pregnant.
Me: What?! NO! I'm, uh, the new Simple Year blogger. I submitted the idea for a zero waste year and got picked.
Johanna: MOM! You're gonna do so great!
Abby: That's awesome! You will rock that!
Eric: [Quietly grinning]
Me: Um, so... it's not just me who's doing this project. It's all of us.
Girls: Noooooooooooooooooo!

So they're super excited too is what I'm saying.

Anyway, I started April 15  and have a few posts up, which is why I figured it would be safe to tell y'all now. I'll be writing about the challenges and successes of practicing zero waste in a small town and with a (kind of unwilling) family (it's hilarious to me that the girls are freaking out about this because they already do so much -- they're minimalists, too. Is it the new title? I have no idea). It's going to be fun, and eye-opening, and it's also going to force me to quit being so lazy and distracted.

I will still be posting here. Simple Year is quite focused, so for all my random thoughts, Pointless Ramble will live on. I'm sure that's a relief (at least to my mother).

The end, I guess. Or maybe I should say, "The beginning."

Take THAT, anxiety ferret!

So remember how last month I went to my reflexology appointment and the anxiety ferret basically made me want to jump off the table and run for the hills?

Yeah, that was fun.

How can something so fluffy and adorable be such
a jerk?!

Anyway, I had my monthly appointment on Monday, and I was kind of nervous about it, truth be told, because I was trying NOT to be nervous -- trying not to psych myself out by assuming it would all go wrong again. It's kind of hilarious how when you try to not think about something, your brain immediately latches on to whatever that is and that's all you can think about.

It's fine, that's just science. (I guess?)

But when 2 p.m. rolled around -- my standing appointment time -- I marched myself up the hill to the reflexology office (how cool is it that it's just up the hill?) and told myself that THIS WAS GOING TO BE FINE.

And it was. Oh, the anxiety ferret was all, hey girl, what's up?, but I was all, I don't even see you.

And it went away.

That's probably luck more than anything, but you know what? We take our victories where we can.

And also: I just tried to enjoy it. How often do you get to have someone rub your feet with soft music playing, a heating pad under your back, and the sunlight streaming through the window? I focused on why I like reflexology: It's relaxing, it's completely selfish (I mean, no one is benefiting from this but me), and it stimulates my organs or something. (Oh, the joy hearing that you have some congestion in your colon. Yeah, totally gross, but if you can get beyond THAT, it's very nice to have your stomach issues justified.)

So yay me is what I'm saying. Anxiety ferret, you just stay in your box.

Project 333: Spring edition

I'm not going to lie: My spring and summer wardrobe is my favorite. I love the patterns, the colors, the lightweight fabrics. I love ditching the sweaters and the boots and pulling out t-shirts and sandals.

I love my wardrobe so much, in fact, that I'm not even remotely tempted to change it by going shopping. That would just mean I'd have to get rid of something else, and I'm not ready to part with anything.

Seriously. I love this wardrobe.

Right now we're dealing with temperatures that go from freezing (that's 32º Fahrenheit here in the good ol' States, because apparently everything has to be a revolution with us) to low-80ºs -- generally in the same day in a span of a couple of hours. (Oregon! You crazy beast!) So right now I have a couple of my favorite sweaters still in the mix because I need them, but I will ditch them as soon as I can (i.e., the weather gets truly nice consistently).

This was my lunch view yesterday. It was too gorgeous
to stay inside. 

This is, however, the perfect time of year for my jackets -- my old beige thing (we're going on six years now, it's like my child at this point) and my new to me denim jacket (a heck of a deal at a consignment shop last summer). Saying goodbye to my coat? Not all that hard, to be honest.

Other changes: I have a couple of t-shirt skirts (skirts made out of t-shirt material, whoever thought of that is a GENIUS) that I'm waiting to cycle in -- they look ridiculous with tights, but it's not always warm enough to NOT wear tights. Oh, and confession, I have a few dresses in the back of the closet I am not counting as they're too fancy for everyday wear, but we've already gotten three wedding invitations for this spring, so... I want them around. Just not THAT around.

When I first started P333, I couldn't wrap my mind around stretching the rules to fit my life, but at this point, I'm pretty comfortable doing whatever I need to do in order to make the capsule work for me.

Some of my favorites: Navy flowered shirt, beige and orange
peasant blouse, orange and white tank, blue and grey
baseball-style shirt, navy peasant blouse and black
and white t-shirt.

Here's the obligatory list of items in my closet. If you are good at math, you will notice that this is a list of 35, not 33. Eh, details are boring.

Grey: (3)
Santa Clara University long-sleeve t-shirt
Cardigan
... and blue baseball-style 3/4-sleeve shirt (pictured above)

Black: (10)
Turtleneck sweater
Cardigan
T-shirt
Jeans
Capris*
Shoes 1
Shoes 2
... and beige skirt
... and beige polka-dot tank
... and white t-shirt (pictured above)

Beige: (5)
Jacket!
Slacks!
... and orange patterned peasant-style blouse (pictured above)
... and orange tank (pictured above)
... and orange patterned scarf

Brown: (1)
Sandals!

Purple: (2)
Skirt
... and multi patterned tank

Teal: (1)
Peasant-style blouse

Blue: (13)
Cardigan (navy)
Cardigan (light blue)
Turtleneck sweater (light blue)
Pretty peasant-style short-sleeved blouse (and tank... both in navy, pictured above)
Tank (navy)
Denim jacket
... and flowered t-shirt (pictured above; my very favorite!)
... and another flowered t-shirt, but this one is a gauzy material
Jeans
3/4-sleeve shirt (navy)
... and yellow patterned maxi skirt (lighter blue)
Capris (light denim)
... and stripped scarf

For more on Project 333, click HERE.

* So the story on these capris: I could absolutely NOT believe how long they were on my 6-foot body. I mean, they actually fit and didn't look like I was wearing high waters AT ALL. When I got them home I realized they were long because they are actually real people pants, not tall people capris. Ah, well. Whatever works.

Pointless experiments: Tiny note project

(File this one under "stuff I forgot I was going to write about.")

Once upon a time, like in December, I took part in Courtney Carver's 31 Gifts You So Deserve. I think I even mentioned I was doing so at the time ... yep, HERE at the very end. Anyway, one of her gifts was writing tiny notes to say thank you, or I love you, or I'm thinking about you, and either sending them off into the world or taking a picture and emailing the sentiment.

My first thought was, wow, that would make a really fun little project someday!

Page from my journal, which is basically a dumping ground
for quotes I like and things I want to think about...

Someday, because December was already hella crazy. ;)

In February -- chosen because it's the month of love or whatever -- I decided to launch my tiny note project with the goal of one note mailed out per day for all 29 days. I even had fantasies of making the walk to the post office part of my daily work routine.

Well, THAT part didn't happen because I ended up getting sick and it was all I could do to, like, survive.

But the tiny note part? NAILED IT.

My tiny notes and my 2016 goal journal, which I made
from recycled paper and had bound, then decorated.

I found the perfect little blank note cards at the stationary store (purchased before my self-imposed buying ban for Lent. I had to really plan ahead!), and embellished them myself with stickers. I tended to do up a week's worth of cards at once and then mail them over the span of a few days before starting all over again.

One unforeseen obstacle was that, while I had plenty of people I could write to, they had to be people who wouldn't think I was weird for saying, "Hey, happy Valentine's month! I love you!" So at least a quarter of those on my list were children -- nieces and nephews mostly. I mean, kids don't think twice when you mail them a Valentine and tell them they're great and you love them so much. They're just like, RIGHT?! 

I figured that aunts, uncles, parents and in-laws would probably not think I was too weird, either, nor would my very best friends in this world.

I didn't get a lot of response from the project (which I understand -- people are busy! Actually my friend Shannon sent me a note to thank me for my note, and I was going to email to say thank you, and FORGOT. Shannon! I got your note!), but what I did hear was all positive. People like getting real mail even if they don't tell you that. And the point was to spread some love, not generate mail or thanks for myself, and you know what? Mission accomplished!

This was actually one of the funner projects I've embarked on. In case you're curious, my January goal was to make healthy choices (you can see my some of my scribbles for that in the picture above) and in March I tried to establish a nightly routine (and kind of failed). This month I'm just going for peace. I figure that will be hard enough. ;)

Another round of pointless updates!

1. Hello, internet friends! I decided to ditch all plans today and just enjoy being at home. The weather is gorgeous, my house is a mess, and I have nothing that I really need to be doing. 

What a gift!

2. Was it only last Saturday that I ended up in Longview with my parents because we'd gotten the call that Grandma's heart was acting all funny and she'd been taken to emergency? Anyway, as I sort of alluded to in a past post, it turns out my sweet little Grammie has congestive heart failure. And had a mini-stroke, although that happened in the hospital and since my mother and aunt were watching her and noticed it, she was saved from having a massive stroke.

Because of that, she's been admitted to a nursing home for a few weeks (this place totally sucks -- it's where my mother had to bust out my grandfather a couple of years ago). But she's content, and she's getting better, and maybe she'll be able to move back to her assisted living apartment.

When your Grandma is 92, you just sort of have to accept that there is no way you can control the outcome and just be grateful that you still have a grandma. 

Anyway, although that was NOT the Saturday I'd wanted to spend (emergency rooms are kind of the worst), it was okay because I got to see Grandma and tell her that I love her so much, and just kind of entertain her with stories about the girls, and hang out and just be.

3. We've had some ridiculously great weather in our little part of Oregon this week, and the flowers and buds are really starting to pop. This makes me so happy. I love being able to take a walk after work or have lunch outside in the sunshine. 

4. That sunshine and ability to have outside lunch breaks saved my sanity this week, as we were putting together an annual spring section at work and that was a lot of extra stress and angst and general awfulness. Our publisher must have caught on to our despondency because she brought in good coffee and snacks half-way through. Turns out I can be bought. Actually, never mind, everyone already knows the way to my heart and happiness is just coffee.

But hey! We finally sent that thing off to press yesterday! My eyeballs will probably stop hurting any minute now.

5. The only bad thing about the sunshine is that, as I'm looking out the window trying to decide what to write next, I can see those windows are grungy and need a good clean. Ah, well. Maybe tomorrow.

6. Johanna went to a Blazers game on Thursday with her class at school -- a very last minute thing, as she had previously said she didn't really want to go. Turns out the $10 fee was just to buy her ticket, so I sent my baby to Portland without any spending money, which wouldn't be a bad thing if this kid wasn't an empty vessel that must be constantly fed. Luckily, her best friend's grandpa had volunteered to chaperone and he spotted her for snacks. This is why you read the fine print when you're signing a permission slip three hours before the class leaves, I guess. 

Ah, well. Details are boring.

7. Now that I've written about Jo, I feel like I need to write about Abby, just to be fair. That kid is so super busy and has so much on her plate. Are all teenagers this driven? Anyway, with basketball over, she's been able to enjoy more time with friends, and I think that's a good thing -- she needs to have some fun.

Also, we are not even thinking about the fact that she is in her last term as a junior, and that next year she graduates from high school and goes off to college. NO.

That's all I have to say about that.

February/March books

Rest assured I am keeping up with my "pages read" extravaganza. It's just that I found myself resisting reading in February, until it occurred to me that THAT was because I didn't like my book very much.

So I quit reading it. And that made all the difference.

Because I gave up buying stuff for Lent, my book choices were limited to what came up on my eLibrary account and what I already have in my ebook collection.

It was like I was a pioneer or something.

*** MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS EVEN THOUGH I'M TRYING REALLY HARD NOT TO ***

Wildwood (Wildwood Chronicles Book 1) by Colin Meloy (565 pages)
Ah, I began this book with such hope. I've heard from several people that this book series is a winner. Well, it's set in Portland -- our neighbors to the west -- and Colin is the lead singer of The Decemberists.

I LOVE The Decemberists!

But I just couldn't get into this book. It was fine. It was even fun in some spots. But it just wasn't my cup of tea.

Because I love coffee.

And I still love you, Colin Meloy.

P.S. Johanna is reading this book and she likes it just fine. She has to ask me what words mean a lot, but I think that's a good thing. Expands her vocabulary.

Under Wildwood (Wildwood Chronicles Book 2) by Colin Meloy
I'm not going to even put a page count here because this is the book I quit about a quarter of the way through. I just didn't want to read it.

I guess this begs the question of why I even attempted it if I didn't enjoy the first one, and the answer is easy: It was available on eLibrary and I figured it was the quickest way to get something new to read on my Kindle.

Ah, well.

Life After Life: A Novel by Kate Atkinson (512 pages)
Now here's a book I've already read a few times, and one that I keep coming back to because I like it so much. It's about Ursula, who keeps dying and then coming back for a do-over. She lives the same life, but it's never the same.

I don't know, I think that's fascinating. So I'll probably read it again.

Regarding Ducks and Universes by Neve Maslakovic (344 pages)
This is one of the very first books I bought for my Kindle back in 2010. My device was brand spankin' new, and this book was on sale for 99 cents. I hadn't learned yet that there are reasons cheap books are cheap, but let me tell you this: I got a hell of a deal, because this books is amazing.

So it was fun to have an excuse to read it again. It's all about quantum physics... without being about quantum physics. Felix in Universe A is feeling pretty good about himself until he realizes there's another Felix in Universe B. It's a complicated idea, but Maslakovic doesn't make it seem complicated at all.

Yes, go read it. You're welcome.

The Sisters Brothers by Patrick deWitt (339 pages)
So this book... I don't even know where to begin. This is another of my favorites from my own personal (nonexistent because it's digital) collection. The writing style -- or how Eli Sisters "speaks" -- verses what Eli and Charlie are doing is just... it's hilarious. These two are assassins. They should not be sympathetic characters. Well, Charlie really isn't, but Eli is. It's dark and grim and just funny as hell. I don't know what this says about me personally, but I totally recommend this one.

Fangirl: A Novel by Rainbow Rowell (445 pages)
It's no secret I'm a big Rainbow Rowell fan -- this is the third book I've read of hers in as many months -- so maybe you can imagine my joy when this one came up on eLibrary. I literally dropped what I was doing and just started reading right then and there.

This book was good, although I'm not sure it was as good as some of the other books of hers that I've read (Eleanor and Park? That one is perfect). Cath is in college. She writes fanfic and has a very popular website. But she's struggling. It's her first year of college. Her twin sister Wren isn't really talking to her. She's worried about her bipolar dad.

But she's endearing, and she acts totally like an 18-year-old would, and it was nice to see that she was eventually able to get her shit together.

If I keep my Kindle in wifi mode, I'll have enough time to read it again before I have to return it. ;)

February/March pages read: 2,205
Plus January:1,062
Equals: 3,267

Huh. I would honestly have guessed I was higher than that. Who cares, really, I just think it's kind of interesting.

Happy Easter, Internet friends!

So... my sweet little grandma went to the emergency room yesterday morning, and we've since learned that she's got congestive heart failure and AFIB. When my Mom called to tell me the news and announce they were headed to Longview, I decided to go along, too. It was a hard, frustrating day (all we did was wait, and then wait some more), but the good news is that she is where she's supposed to be now and is getting care.

Grandma was sure she was going to be sent home -- so what if she can't walk? -- and was mildly surprised when she heard she was being admitted to the hospital. But she rallied, and even decided maybe it was okay because now they could figure out what was wrong with her heart.

My thoughts are with her today. I don't know if this is the beginning of the end or what is going to happen. I'm trying to be very zen about the whole ordeal.

Not really the post I'd planned to write, but anyway, now you sort of know why I've been MIA.

I do sincerely, however, wish you all a very happy Easter. Go eat some chocolate. I certainly am!

Lenten update update

So remember how I checked in about the half-way mark to let you know how I was doing with my Lenten fast, which is basically that I have given up processed foods and shopping, and I was blithely all, oh, yeah, I'm doing great!?

The mighty have fallen, internet friends.

I am struggling. I want chips. I want chocolate. Actually, during my weekly grocery trip yesterday, I bought a chocolate bar -- milk chocolate, I'm not even bothering to pretend I'm in it for the supposed health benefits -- and I'm not even sorry. I ate about half at lunch and it was delicious. If there's any left over by dinnertime, meaning no one else in the family has sniffed it out, I will finish it.

I also bought a dress yesterday -- my first purchase since this whole thing started 40-ish days ago. One of Abby's cute little friends held a "prom dress project," where all dresses were $10, and I found what must have been a little back dress from some old lady's closet, because this thing is actually made in America, which you can never find anymore, and a brand that I'm pretty sure doesn't exist in 2016. Anyway, that alone might not have been enough to tempt me, but all proceeds go to a local women's shelter, so it was buy this dress and help or not buy this dress and not help.

Um, I guess I could have just donated the $10 and stayed true to my fast, but... I didn't.

It is a pretty great dress.

So that's the new state of the union. Lent is hard. I wanted it to be hard, so I have no one to blame but myself, but damn!

Lent update: The half-way mark

I MISS YOU!

Today is the 26th day of Lent (I know because we get daily Lenten Reflection emails from Bishop Robert Barron's Word on Fire -- we love that guy), and, as we're a little over the half-way point, this seems like as good a time as any to come clean about how I'm doing with my Lenten fast.

If I may be so bold as to quote myself from my February 12 post:

Much like in years' past, I'm giving up processed foods, but this year I'm going for extra holy, so I'm also adding another element to this whole ordeal: I'm giving up buying anything, too. I don't actually buy that much, 'cause minimalism, yo, but I do rather enjoy coffees and the occasional lunch (and dinner) out on the town. It's just too easy to walk down the street and pick up a sandwich. I see these two things as extensions of each other: If I'm not eating processed food, that means most restaurant eating is out, and if I'm not buying anything, that means, like, no food treats at the grocery store.

Ah, the optimism in which we begin any life-changing event! ;)

Actually, I'm proud to say that I'm doing pretty good with this. Eric said last night that he thought it would be the no-processed foods that would be the hard part (and I've kind of just decided that anything pre-packaged, with the exception of milk, cheese, and, like flour and sugar and whatnots, counts as processed), but that's actually the easiest for me to handle. I think it's because I'm used to NOT eating things anyway -- people bring things like cupcakes with bright pink frosting or packaged cookies to work all the time, and it's not a big deal for me to just smile and nod and not even be tempted.

Ugh, because there's nothing that tastes good enough to be worth an IBS attack.

But the not buying anything? That is tough, which I knew it would be and is why I added that little piece to my Lenten puzzle. It's not so much the fact that I can't get any books for my Kindle, or even buy an new ink pen for my journaling that's hard -- it's the simple stuff, like not buying my favorite veggie sandwich or walking to a coffee shop for an Americano.

And I haven't!

Okay, I did once. Last Thursday. I drove to Dutch Bros. and even as I was on my way I was like, well, I'm going to have to admit this on the blog, is this coffee really something I need? But then PMS was like, COFFFFFFFEEEEEEE, so that was pretty much that.

And it was delicious.

I've also mostly been taking Sundays off -- if you count the days from Ash Wednesday to Good Friday, that makes 46, and Lent is only 40 -- although I'm not going too crazy. One decaf vanilla latte. I had a bowl of Cheddar Bunnies today and am eating a candy cane that was leftover from Christmas. I'm purposely still not buying ebooks or ink pens because that seems like it would be cheating. Actually I didn't even buy the chocolate bar I was eying yesterday during my grocery trip because that also seemed like cheating, Sunday or not. (I wasn't going to take any Sundays off, but then I read "'Cheating' on Sundays" by Meg Hunter-Kilmer, and I was like, mini-Easter! I can get behind that!)

But I tell you this, my friends: this weekend I not only made a double batch of banana muffins (used all seven over-ripe bananas banging around in my freezer!), but a batch of Mexican Hot Chocolate Cookies. You try PMS-ing with carrots as your only comfort food. It's a miracle I didn't completely lose my mind...

Rest in peace, Uncle Bob

I'm so glad you're not suffering anymore, but wow, we are going to miss you.

Love you. Say hi to Gramps for me.

A couple updates or whatevs

Update 1
I just watched Johanna give Eric a hair cut. With clippers. It's probably the best home hair cut he's ever gotten.

Which means I am off the hook for future hair cuts. That's the best case scenario, really. ;)

Update 2
I have been battling a mother of a cold since last Wednesday. You guys, this cold has been so bad that I missed a day of work. And all our planned weekend activities (see Update 3). It started with a tickle in the back of my throat, then advanced to a raging headache and coughing so hard that I swear I've broken my sternum. The alarming thing about THAT is that I have a high pain threshold, which makes me wonder exactly how bad I'm actually feeling. I mean, if I think it hurts, then it's probably really awful, right? Like punctured lung bad!

Well, whatever. It only hurts when I cough. Or sneeze. Or blow my nose. Or laugh. The dumb thing about all this is that, while I sound terrible and look worse and am constantly clutching my sternum (I'm kind of proud I even know what a sternum is, although I didn't until Eric told me this morning), I'm actually finally feeling better. I can feel the pressure leaving my head, and it no longer hurts when I swallow.

It's just those damn unannounced tickles that send me into coughing fits and bring me to my knees.

Eh, it's probably fine. No, it's not. God, that hurts...

Update 3
This weekend we had Big Plans in the Walker household: Abby and Johanna received awards from the Sons and Daughters of the Oregon Pioneers (Abby is Miss Pioneer Oregon,* and Johanna won the middle school essay contest), and then Johanna had a two-day basketball tournament. So we were going to spend the night with Eric's sister and have all this family time and whatnots.

So I missed that. Ah, well. But Eric taped both Abby's acceptance speech and Johanna's time in the basketball games for me, so I at least got to watch after the fact. Not quite as good as being there, but I definitely made the right call staying home, in that I was just in bed for 48 hours. Good times.

Abby is going to be mad at me for posting this.
Let's not tell her, okay?

*It's an essay contest, not a pageant by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not sure why I feel compelled to tell you this. Mostly because ... well, because I think pageants are dumb.

Update 4
So let's talk about Miss Pioneer Oregon's costume, shall we? We had exactly three weeks to get this together and have her portraits taken. Ha ha ha! Isn't that hilarious? Also totally true.

So we found out she'd been awarded the honor the day we left for the Christmas House in Lincoln City (relive those memories here and here). Abby and I hit the Goodwill there, not really expecting to find anything but also totally hoping we would because, as I've mentioned above, time was of the essence.

Anyway, so we hit Goodwill and go to the dress section. There's a lady in the way on Abby's end of the size rack, so we just go to the other end ... where we find this red gingham monstrosity in a size 18. Abby, incidentally, is like a 6. Well, what could happen? It's got a great front button feature and the pattern is definitely 19th century. Here's a close up of the top:

WHY ARE YOU SO ADORABLE?

The buttons were actually the best part of the dress. Emboldened by our discovery, we hit the "miscellaneous linens" section, hoping to find some sort of apron. What we actually found was a bed sheet (?) that had a nice crocheted bottom. We were like, we can totally make an apron out of this! 

Ten minutes and $15 later, we were feeling kind of good about ourselves. Although when we took our items up to pay, Abby was all, please don't judge us, to the cashier, and we told her about Abby's award and that was a mistake because the cashier had all kinds of ideas and she was clearly an overachiever. They're out there, you guys. All you can do is smile and nod.

Yadda yadda yadda, I took the dress to an alterations shop in town, and the lady took the dress in IN ONE DAY for $35. Score. Then my mother, bless her soul, made the apron, and my mother-in-law pitched in a green bonnet, and Abby already had some black combat boots (close enough to prairie-wear) and some grey tights, so wallah! That is how you make a pioneer costume in 18 days.

As for the portraits, I took them myself in our backyard. I figured, what the heck, I get paid to take pictures all the time (kinda) for the newspaper, so really, what could happen? This was a good route to take, by the way, because it's basketball season and figuring out when we could actually get pictures taken turned into a bit of a dilemma. But we did it. 

I'm kind of amazed it all worked out so easily, really.

January books

One of the benefits of working at a newspaper is that I come into daily contact with a lot of ideas. We have a monthly columnist who wrote early in January about a book challenge she's been taking part in the last few years, which involves not only tracking the titles of the books you read, but the pages.

For someone who really hates math, I really like statistics (it's what Eric calls one of my consistent inconsistencies), so my first thought was, that is brilliant! And then because Austin Kleon has inspired me to Steal Like An Artist, I decided to make that idea mine. So I've dedicated a couple of pages in my journal for such a list. So far there are only has three entries.

Well, the year is young.

Incidentally, I read all of these books thanks to our library's ebook checkout system. It's frustrating as hell to have to wait for a book you want to read now (what a first world problem), but on the upside, the waiting strengths your character. I guess? At any rate, I am reading more books.

*** MAY contain spoilers, though I'm trying really hard NOT TO. ***

"Us" by Navid Nicholls(419 pages)

I picked this one entirely based on the author, who, as the cover suggests, wrote "One Day", one of my all-time favorite books EVER OF ALL TIME. I mean, I really love that book. So without reading any customer reviews or really looking into the subject matter, I just went for it.

After I read it, I went online to see what other people thought, and it was just a bunch of variations of Douglas is so boring, why did Connie want to marry him in the first place?, which totally bummed me out because me and Douglas? We are cut from the same uptight cloth, with the minor exception of him being a scientist and me not even understanding science.

So without giving away the entire thing, let me just say that it's an interesting look inside of a marriage, and I did not see that ending coming at all even though I should have, and it was definitely worth the read.

Um, but go read One Day first. ;)

"Attachments" by Rainbow Rowell(324 pages)

Here's another one I read just based on the author -- I loved "Eleanor and Park" -- and so, again, I just added it to my ebook list and waited eight years for it to become available. (Or two months. Who cares?)

I devoured this book in no time at all, which made me sad because I really enjoyed it. It's easy and breezy and beautiful (wait, no, that's Cover Girl make-up, sorry) and just fun to read. I mean, yeah, here's this guy who's paid to read people's emails, which even in 1999 seems a little far-fetched, but what do I know, and then he falls in love with this girl just based on her words, and the she falls in love with him just based on his face. (Crap. That might have been a spoiler.)

Anyway, I loved it. It's, like, candy for sarcastic people who love words.

I really wish I owned this one.

"Landline" by Rainbow Rowell(319 pages)

So let's just say, hypothetically, that you've been acting like a (lovable, awkward) jerk and your husband leaves you behind on Christmas with your two girls to go visit his Mom because you're just going to be working on writing your dream comedy television show anyway.

You with me so far?

And then you go to your childhood home because you're kind of having a breakdown and apparently you have a magic phone in your old bedroom that allows you to talk to said husband TWENTY YEARS AGO when he was merely your boyfriend and your relationship also needed work, and you learn some stuff about yourself and your husband and you realize you have to make a choice.

What's interesting is the wife is the successful, career-driven one and the husband is the one at home with the kids, which is totally a role reversal of what you'd normally get. And Georgie has to make some hard decisions. Are they fair? I don't know. But they are what lots of women have to make. I know my kids and husband are on the short side of my stick sometimes ... and the guilt that produces.

Well, anyway. Again, this is for people who love words and playing with words and words that aren't going to cause you any headaches but will give you a few lovely hours in some alternate universe where magic phones are possible.

I'm a big fan of Rainbow Rowell. I have "Fangirl" on my waiting list and I'm hoping that comes up in February. I would read the phone book if she wrote it. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not.

Pages read: 1,062

Huh. I thought it would be more than that. Math and all. SO HARD.

P333: Long weekend capsule wardrobe

You guuuuuuys! Hi! :)

You know how much I love Project 333? I was in the outlet mall in Lincoln City and overheard a lady talking about her work uniform, and I was all, Oh, are you a Project 333-er? and she was like, No! What's that?!, and I was like, 33 items for three months, it's insane except it's amazing, Be More With Less, Courtney Carver. Google it. 

But you can just click this link: Be More With Less. You're welcome.

And P.S., Abby finds it inexplicable that I'm an introvert, yet insist on talking to strangers. Eric just calls it one of my consistent inconsistencies.

Side tracked at the very beginning of a post, now THAT is pointless ramble at its finest, except maybe the point is that P333 is never far from my mind. It's just that it's kind of changed my life and it's fantastic and I love it.

This past weekend, the Walker 4 joined the Walker 24 (missed you, J and Andy and Reid!) for three days of family fun (Christmas House? I Have A Dream House?) in Lincoln City, which means: Hella capsule wardrobe. I have a small Adidas bag and it only holds so much, and that's the way I like it.

I packed:
Black sweatshirt dress
Green leggings
Beige jacket
Santa Clara U long-sleeved T-shirt
Black turtleneck sweater
...And, like, PJs, tech cords, undies and makeup

Sweatshirt dress and green leggings.
I'm getting very bold in my old age.

I wore:
Black ankle boots
Denim jeans
Black long-sleeved T-shirt
Grey pullover sweater
Black scarf
Black coat

...And it turned out I overpacked. I never did wear my beige jacket, and while I wore my (workhorse, favorite) black turtleneck sweater to Mass Saturday night, I really didn't need it, either -- I could have just worn my grey pullover again, holes be damned. (Oh, wait, Mass, sorry, holes be darned! Get it? Because I should darn them! Oh, never mind. I really need more coffee.)

That's not even the only hole. Damn you, Eddie Bauer!

Another plug for a small bag: I can just take that thing into the bathroom with me and have everything I need right there, safe and sound and clean. I really hate putting stuff on, like, the back of toilets or toothpaste-splattered counters. It grosses me out. So I am a big fan is what I'm saying.

Um, and then just in case you're wondering: The weekend included a trip to the outlet mall (I'll write about that when I do my January P333 roundup), lots of time with babies (although Kayden and Logan aren't really babies anymore), lots of time for naps, football games and cards (except not for me), Mass, amazing tamales, not as much coffee as you'd think, and time to just hang out with in-laws and nieces and nephews. Oh, and an extremely alarming white elephant gift exchange. How alarming? Johanna could have gone home with this, if not for Sam, who really took one for the team and also just likes creepy stuff, apparently:

Seriously: How scary is this picture? I've seen Supernatural, I know what's up.
P.S. That's my favorite mother-in-law in the background, apparently not even
worried that those kids are about to kill us.

Anyway, super fun weekend as always. You'd think I'd, like, take some photos of the ocean or something, since Lincoln City is on the Oregon Coast, but nah, too mainstream. Plus I forgot.

The end, I guess.

Random thoughts with a side of I Have A Dream House

Devils Lake, Lincoln City, Ore.

This past weekend was the Walker family Christmas House weekend, more accurately called the I Have A Dream House because we hold it over MLK weekend, not Christmas (not that any of us will ever call it anything besides the Christmas House). Anyway, I was talking to my favorite mother-in-law over ... breakfast? Maybe dinner, and she was all like, I'm sorry you're not doing your pointless rambles any more, and I was all, No, I am, but then it occurred to me that maybe I'm not.

Which made me a little bit sad, honestly, because I love writing pointless ramble.

It's not that I'm not writing, though, so much as my priorities have shifted. When I started the blog, I was working 20 hours a week and was looking for an excuse to use up some words. Now I'm up to 32 to 35 hours a week, we're knee-deep in basketball season for both girls, and I tend to gravitate towards my journals rather than the computer.

'Cause I can't always get on the computer. Well, school work and all. It's kind of hard to toss your fifth grader off the computer when she needs to do Splash Math.

Hey, irony: Johanna is lurking because she needs the computer to do homework. What do kids do if they don't have a computer at home? I have no idea.

All this is to say that I have no plans to actually give up the blog; I just might not be posting as much as I used to.

So... I'm going to let Johanna use the computer now, and I will come back soon to tell you how I packed for our three-day weekend (spoiler alert: I overpacked, although it didn't feel like it at the time I was throwing clothing into my bag).

We're cool, right?

December Pointless Lists

Merry and bright!
Fake it 'til you make it, internet friends.

This month has been hard for me, but I got through, partly because my Holiday Resolutions were solid, and also because Eric is a rock and took it upon himself to do all of the shopping for the girls, get the Christmas tree, and literally stand over me to make sure I got our Walker Family Christmas Form Letter written and Christmas cards out. I suppose that sounds a bit controlling, that last bit, but honestly, I needed the motivation and the support. 

Oh, wait, I did do the stockings and one "random" box of bits for Johanna, and I bought my brother the most awesome Sasquatch shirt EVER, but that was it. Eric said that someone on Abby's basketball team made a joke about how men don't do anything to get ready for Christmas, and he was a little offended. 

As he should be. I'd like to go on record that Christmas 2015 would not have happened this year if not for my darling husband. He takes good care of us, and no, I don't think it's a slap to my pro-Feminism leanings to say so. We all need someone in our corner. Everyone needs an Eric.

Books read:
This is where my list gets even sadder because I read ZERO books this month. And after my great go of it last month, too! One problem is that I got four more books all at once from our city's e-library and I just... I don't know. It depressed me for some reason. I started reading Nick Offerman's "Gumption," mostly because he's hilarious and I thought it would lift my spirits a bit, but it turned out to be kind of boring. I'm sorry, Nick Offerman! I love you and I feel terrible saying that. But I never did get past like the sixth chapter.

Ah, well.

Movies watched:
Star Wars: The Force Awakens. YOU GUYS. I almost let my anxiety get the best of me, but I went to the movie theater to watch this little flick with my family, and it was amazing. Now THAT is a Star Wars movie! Loved the story, broke my heart near the end, loved the characters, the acting was great, the effects were just right, JJ Abrams is a genius. I give it all the stars! Now we're collectively depressed because we have to wait until 2017 for the next one.

Light update:
Ah, light! My idea of using a word to guide you through a year has changed as the year has progressed -- gone from "inspiration to action!" to "just try to embrace the feeling." I've got a new word picked out for 2016, and I'm not planning to use it for anything besides the cultivation of my soul. Wow, that is probably overkill on the drama, but I'm not sure how else to explain it. I will use the word simply to remind myself of what I'm ultimately going for, not to add to my to-do list.

If you'd like to come up with a word for 2016, here's something to help you: Susannah Conway has a free workbook and e-course to help you figure it out.

Project 333 update:
I'm looking forward to another year of P333 and minimalism. I've pretty much got my next rotation nailed down, and to make it more of a challenge, I've decided to stick to the strict 33 count, including shoes and leggings and scarves. I came to this conclusion after wearing the same long-sleeve turtleneck sweater four times in one week without anyone noticing. Let's see what happens when I'm truly pared down...

Have you been thinking about starting your own Project 333? Here's Courtney Carver's website to help you figure it all out. My advice: Start slow. And make edits if you need to. I promise you will not be sorry, and you will never go back to an overflowing wardrobe that contains nothing to wear.

One small announcement:

I'm going to retire my monthly Pointless Lists at the end of the year. I've been thinking a lot about this, because apparently I need more hobbies, and I've come to the conclusion that I just don't need to do them anymore. Four years of pointless lists is enough.

It's been a good run.

A look back at 2015

As seen on a recent walk around town.

Christmas is over, New Year's is just around the corner, and I am trying to make sense of what the hell even happened in 2015. I was talking with Abby on Sunday, and said I knew this year would be hard, but I didn't expect it to be this hard. She said that we just thought it would be hard in different ways and that's why it seemed to be overly difficult.

My kid is so smart.

Well, whatever. This year seemed to be the best of times and the worst of times, but I think that's pretty much how it is every year. You can't have the sweet without the sour. Or something. I think I read that once. I think I'd much rather have all sweet, though, thankyouverymuch. The sour sucks.

Anyway, as I sit here and think about the past (almost) 365 days, these are the things that stand out for me. I'm trying to be all zen and like, there is no good nor bad, it's just our perceptions, except right now zen is alluding me so you get this:

The Good

1. Our trips to California and Sunriver were amazing.
2. I got farther in my zero waste journey.
3. I continued to be a minimalist. And a damn good one. ;)
4. I discovered the joy that is art journaling.
5. I learned I tend to be self-destructive, which may seem bad, but that revelation has been a real eye-opener for me. It helps me stay on track.
6. My husband is darling in so many ways. We celebrated our 20th anniversary!
7. My girls are smart and make parenting extremely easy.
8. Let's not leave out Skilly. He's the best. Well... mostly.
9. I loved my year in the newsroom -- every single minute of it. That's not to say that sometimes I don't want to ram my head through a wall, because frustrations are normal and they happen, but you guys! I get to read and write all day long! That doesn't even seem like working.
10. I started acupuncture and reflexology, and that has made a big difference in my overall health and mental well-being.
11. I embraced the light. Sometimes I had more success than other times.
12. My hair is finally its natural color -- from root to end!

The Bad

1. We lost Eric's cousin Aaron and my grandfather. We found out that Uncle Bob's cancer has spread to his spine and blood. We learned that sweet Celia, our friend and hairdresser, has cancer and there's nothing that can be done about that. We also lost our kind neighbor and friend, Tom.
2. Just so many funerals.

The Ugly

1. I fought anxiety a lot this year. I did allergy elimination through my acupuncturist, and I think with that and my monthly reflexology appointments (just for relaxation), I'm better overall. I still have some general and social anxiety, which can be a pain, but I also have tools to get myself through it.
2. Accepting that my grandparents are getting older.
3. Grieving. Grieving is so super hard, you guys.
4. Just getting through December. But I did it.

You know what, 2015? Thank you for the opportunities, and the good times, and the lessons learned from all the rest. Here's to a more peaceful 2016.