Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Two Cranky Steve stories and an update

Jeez, people, this is why I should never read. We're 16 days in and this is only my fourth entry this month. It is literally taking all of my will to sit here and type. I just want to get back to my book.

But before I do--and trust me, I will--here are a couple of Cranky Steve stories for your general amusement:

Yesterday was paper day, and Steve took one look at the front page (about a new ballfield proposal, maybe I need to mention that) and starts going off about how it's just a bunch of tourists here and we should cut down all the orchards and put in ballfields and make town a copy of Vale and to hell with anything besides playing.  "The kids with ADHD don't need to do anything anyway!" he bellowed, and I'm like, whoa, Steve, I'm pretty sure the kids with ADHD don't have the attention span for that anyway, but when Steve is on a rant, you don't really say that kind of stuff out loud. Instead I mock whispered to Rosie From the Press, who had just come into the front office to punch out, "DO NOT talk to Steve about ballfields!  SORE SUBJECT. Trust me."

That made Steve come around the counter and strangle me, if by "strangle" you mean "pretend to strangle," since technically his hands did not touch my throat. Details are boring.

So then I was all, SAFETY COMMITTEE! And Chris the Office Manager (and Safety Committee member--that's why I called for the Safety Committee in the first place) starts telling Steve about the next Safety Committee meeting, and I'm all, damn! I'm fighting man, apparently, since it would appear Steve is on the Safety Committee himself, and then I tried to tell Stacey about my near strangulation when she came back from lunch, except she almost got broadsided AND run over, all in the span of three minutes, so my strangulation story lost some of its luster.

I'm pretty sure this wasn't my most professional work moment ever, but it was fun.

Today Steve tells me that today is Hump Day, and Friday is TGIF, and Thursday is "take the first letter of each of these words: Sure Happy It's Thursday." Ah, that made me laugh. Well, I'm a child.

Um, so that's what's been going on, kind of, unless you count that I've decided I hate basketball and Abby and Johanna won't stop fighting and I've been writing hard hitting exposés for the paper's upcoming bridal guide. Translate: Fluff no one else wants to bother with.  Oh, and Eric thought my last post made us sound like bad parents. Technically it just made me look like a bad parent, but anyway, I assured him that my public knows I'm joking. But just in case it didn't translate: I love my kids and I actually do things with them, you know, sometimes, and sometimes I don't even cover my ears.

It's kind of hard to explain, but let's just say that I have a hard time taking things seriously. It's a gift and a curse.

Also, I usually edit the crap out of my posts, but I just want to read and am not in the mood. Um, sorry about that.

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