Abby: Grandma asked if I'd get my ears pierced and I told her I'd do my nose and now she's all worried and like, "But do you really think he would like that?" ["He" being her secret boy crush]
Abby: Ha ha, she's like, "Might as well get pierced between your fingers."
Me: That's just silly, Grandma.
Abby: Nose piercing sounds hella sensible now doesn't it? And then somehow she started talking about texting while driving, as though since I have a desire to theoretically poke a hole in my nose I am now subject to all teenage whims. Next think you know I'll be harassing the elderly and lurking under people's windows with a boom box.
Me: Dude. That would be AWESOME. Where can we find a boom box?
Abby: Rummage sale for sure. Maybe I can pierce my nose with the needle we find in someone's pocket?
Me: Sounds legit but painful. Your call, though.
Abby: I think yolo.
P.S. We're not laughing at you, Grandma, we're laughing near you.