A Very Walker Vacation part IV: Forks, Hoh Rainforest and Ocean Shores

(This is the end of the vacation posts, I promise.)

Our last episode got us the hell out of Port Angeles. I tried to pay attention to the road between Port Angeles and Forks, because Edward drove 80 mph the whole way and I was curious to see how that translated in real life. Turns out that is much too fast for that road. Shame on you, Edward! Except I was tired and it was early and I kept dozing off, so I didn't get the whole experience.

Why, thanks, Forks! Also: Note the clouds. We totally expected that.

Hey, just to be clear, yes, I am talking about Twilight. Yes, I read the books, and no, I'm not even embarrassed. It was late 2008 and it was entertaining and I needed something to take my mind off my grandma's death, okay? I keep thinking I should reread my (hardbound, special edition with collectors cards, what?, I didn't have my Kindle yet and that was the best deal on Amazon) set, but I haven't gotten that far.

So obviously, Forks was one of my prerequisites for this trip. Moving RIGHT along.

We rolled into town, no kidding, by 9 a.m. All I really wanted to do was go to the Thriftway because hello, that's where Bella bought her groceries. Steak and potatoes! Abby took my picture in the steaks. I felt like all my dreams had come true. For some reason, Eric wasn't quite as excited as I was.

Mmm! On sale, too!

The girls hung out in the Twilight gift shop, yes, still at Thriftway:

Johanna brought a scarf specifically for Forks. Because hello, no
vampire could get through that.

As we walked around the aisles, Eric had the brilliant idea of getting something for lunch because we were headed to the deep dark forest. In the deli, we see this:

If I lived in Forks, I'd go to Thriftway every day. I'm not even joking.

Let me just point this out: Twilight Wrap, Jacob's Round, Edward's Wedge, Marv's Krab Salad. Ha!

P.S. There is no Marv in Twilight! That's why it's so amazing! Oh, never mind.

So the kids running the Thriftway deli (and by "kids," I mean "people under 32") were super nice and accommodating. I told them about my sensitivities to artificial colors, flavors and preservatives and asked about the wraps. They were all like, oh, no don't eat those, but then brought me out the wrap package so I could read ingredients and then made me a one-of-a-kind, very Trisha-friendly wrap. They went above and beyond. Eric and Abby ordered the Twilight Wrap to split, with the idea that Johanna and I would share mine, but honestly, mine was so big that the four of us could have lunched on that thing and been fine.

The moral of all this is that I am a big fan of the Forks Thriftway.

Apparently there's a whole bunch of things you can do in Forks that are Twilight related. We didn't do any of those because A) It was 9 a.m. and 2) I'm serious when I say Thriftway was our main Forks destination. But on the main road out of town, we found the Forks Information Center (it wasn't even open yet), so we stopped and took the obligatory picture next to Bella's truck:

When you look in the windows, you see this thing is completely
thrashed and, no joke, full of dirt.

And thus ends our Forks adventure.

On to the Olympic National Park! This was another jaunt high on Abby's list, and, since Forks was so cloudy and cold, she had high hopes the Hoh Rainforest would be, too. But just up the road from Forks, the sun came out and it got even kind of warm. Ah, well. 

Here's what you need to know about Hoh: It's beautiful, you will see moss literally dripping off the trees, and it's so green you almost can't believe it.

That's a curtain of moss on the left there. Awesome.

The allusive phone booth in its natural habitat.

This was probably Abby's favorite stop on the whole trip. Well, besides Seattle. It was high on mine, too. It had everything: Visitor's Center, decent bathrooms, hiking trails that were very family friendly, lovely scenery everywhere you looked, and a picnic area. What more do you need?

While tromping around the wilderness, Abby decided to make a video homage to Dave and Cody of Dual Survival. Have you guys ever seen that show? The first ever episode we watched was this show featuring the Olympic National Forest. It's probably the best thing we've ever seen on TV. I  mean, when Dave drinks moss water and fashions an arrowhead out of a glass bottle and spears a wild turkey? That was awesome. Not to mention Cody running around without shoes and finding a dead fish and just, like, bringing that back to camp to roast on up. Which is why we've watched all of seasons one and two on Netflix. The Olympic National Forest episode remains our favorite, but the others are kind of great, too.

Anyway, yes, a video was made, and it is fantastic if I do say so myself, but I don't know how to link video so tragically it will remain unseen by most of the world. But I think Dave and Cody would appreciate it.

Once we partook in all that Hoh had to offer--and we took our time--we headed to Ocean Shores, where we were to spend our last night on the road. By this time, we were all wiped out. But hey, we were at the ocean, and it was cloudy and cold and perfect (Abby was happy at last!), so we drove out onto the beach--yes, that is a thing in Washington, we couldn't believe it--and parked and everyone just kind of ran around, drew in the sand, and got buzzed by these crazy little birds that flew around in large packs (do birds fly in packs?) trying to freak everyone out. They succeeded. I was freaked.

Drawing. Not pictured: Insane people playing in the water. It was like 50º.
See? Insane.

Our kamikaze bird friends.

Just chillin' by the car on the beach. Still seems wrong.

So here's where our story gets sketchy. It's dinnertime, our cooler is pretty much bare, and I am broken by our buggy pizza experience from the night before. We're driving around, looking for somewhere to eat, and I'm all like, you know what? Screw this. And I pulled into a McDonalds drive through. Me. I did that. The girls and Eric couldn't even believe it. I know, I can't believe it either. It was delicious. We got some kind of soccer mom meal--20 nuggets, two cheeseburgers and two french fries--for $10. Then we drove back to the motel, cracked open a couple of Pepsis, and polished it all off in about five minutes. I have no regrets.

Then Jo and I went swimming. Or, I should say, Jo went swimming and I sat in the hot tub for a while. Then we went back to the room, cranked on the gas fireplace and went to bed.

The next morning, we slept in--so probably like 7 a.m. because Eric is crazy--and were on the road by 8. We headed for home with a quick stop in Longview to visit my lovely grandparents. They were ever so happy to see us, which was very good for our collective self-esteem. We couldn't stay long, but it was great to be able to visit for even a little while.

And then! Home! Skilly missed us terribly, except he was actually doing pretty well because he escaped out the window on day three and then re-escaped on day five. Brat.

So that's what we did on our vacation this year. We saw mountains and the ocean, cities and forests. We had some really fantastic times, and we had some kind of crappy times, but it's all now a pleasant memory that we enjoy laughing about regularly. And hey! Not so much driving this year! Yay, Washington!