Monday, April 13, 2015

Dear Eddie Bauer: We're through

Dear Eddie Bauer,

It pains me to write this letter because you and I have always been tight. When we got together, I was used to trying to find pants with the biggest hem so my Mommy could take it out and thus make me longer pants. That's not as much fun as you'd think (but my mother is a trooper), and when I found your tall sizes--honest to God 36" inseams!--it was perhaps the best thing that had ever happened to me on the clothing front.

Figure 1: Sweater seam rip in arm area.

Figure 2: Sweater seam rip at collar.

(Although... remember when Northern Reflections was in the US? They had some pretty long pants, too.)

We've had a great run, Eddie Bauer. I've been faithful because I appreciated those pants so much. I branched out to long sleeve t-shirts (at one point I probably had 15, no joke), and I had a bunch of your sweaters and cardigans, and even some blouses. Ninety percent of my wardrobe at any given time was yours. The quality was super high; I was able to hold on to some items for years.

But I've noticed recently (well, the last year or so) that the quality of your clothing is now lacking. Of the three pairs of Eddie Bauer tall pants I own right now, all three have hem stitching that has come completely undone. I've used safety pins to try to keep them in service a little longer, but they are in desperate need of replacing. Especially since my black pair is also missing a bracket I need to button the waist. (That's just awkward.)

Figure 3: Black pants need just one more bracket.

Figure 4: Same black pants with crappy hem.

Figure 5: Grey pants with NO hem.

Figure 6: Beige pants (2 months old) also with NO hem.

A closer inspection of my other EB wear has brought similar conclusions: Busted hems, busted seams, holes everywhere, no matter if its a sweater or a tank top. My newer items seem to come apart within the first month or so of purchase. I've replaced items with holes just to get new holes.

I think this might be the definition of insanity: Doing the same things over and over and expecting a different result. I think it's time to face the hard truth, Eddie Bauer, which is that we need to break up.

Figure 7: Tank top hole. It didn't want to be left out.

And no, we can't be friends. I'm sorry about that, because you will always hold a special place in my heart for those wonderful long pants circa 1998, but we'd just be kidding ourselves. It's time for us to see other people. Actually, I've already begun to see other people. And it feels good.

So goodbye, Eddie Bauer. Thanks again for the memories. Good luck in the future.


No comments: