The public continues to astound this week at work. It makes things sort of interesting, and also sort of scary. And while the whole week has been weird, yesterday really took the cake.
Again, I say unto you: Work with me, people.
The most awesome phone call came about a half-hour after I got to work. A little old lady (WHY is it always little old ladies?) wanted to place a $500 and under free classified ad (those are Big Hits) for like fifty thousand books. The rules of the $500 and under free classified ad? ONE item per household per week (and $500 or under, but I suppose that goes without saying).
Oh, and she came out swinging--no phone number, no introduction, just I have a whole garage full of books that I'd like to sell for 25-cents to $2.50 each. That was my first clue that things were not going to go down well.
Here's a sample of our conversation. I've cut it down by like ten minutes (I am not joking) for the sake of brevity.
Me: The rules of the $500 and under free classified ad are one item per household per week. Unless it's just one book, or a collection of books for a set price, we'll have to go with the one month, $20 ad.
Little Old Lady (LOL): I don't think someone is going to want five boxes of westerns. I just want 25-cents to $2.50 for each book.
Me: I know. I'm sorry. They're* very strict on the rules. It can only be one item, or one collection of items...
LOL: It's actually three categories of books. I want to get rid of them. I could get more money, but I just want 25-cents to $2.50.
Me: I see. But the rules of the $500 and under free classified ad are one item per household per week. So unless you pick just one book, or one collection, the $20, one month ad is the best I'm going to be able to do for you. You can list all the books you want! It hits all the area papers AND goes online tonight!
LOL: I want the free ad. The books are less than $500. And I've seen books in there before. Books!
Me: Was it a collection?
LOL: I could get more money for them, but I just want 25-cents to $2.50.
Me: I'm really trying to help you... and I'm sorry, but the rules of the $500 and under free classified ad are one item per household per week. They're very strict on what we can place under this classification, and boxes of books at different prices don't qualify.
LOL: What about dolls? I have lots of dolls. I could ask $30, but I just want $15 apiece.
Me: Is it just one doll?
LOL: [Silence.]
...And we went round again, only it didn't take so long this time. Perhaps she finally got that I wasn't going to cave. Maybe she finally heard me. It's hard to tell with little old ladies.
It just kept going from there. I tried to do my work, but the public seemed set against me actually accomplishing much. THEN at like 4 p.m. I remembered that it was Wednesday, and I'm supposed to measure one of our area papers as soon as I walk in the door for our bookkeeper. OOPS.
But! My mommy and family friend Kookie came to visit me! I've known Kookie since I was born, I think. I have no memory of not knowing her and her family, anyway. So there! I was wishing I had more time to show them around--papers are quite fascinating, especially when the presses are running or there's a deadline and the newsroom is full--but still, it was fun to be able to see them and chat for a minute. And I got out of helping someone at the counter because Stacey was all like, you chat, I'll do it. Cha-ching! The way the day was going, I can only imagine what the request was...
P.S. Today I had all sorts of plans: A committee meeting at Johanna's school, then help in her classroom, hit a baking sale at the store and go to work, then possibly the farmers' market. But! Johanna is not feeling well, and she's home from school. My favorite mother-in-law took Abby to school, and now I'm trying to figure out what Plan B is. There's some nasty things going around, so I wasn't surprised that Johanna's stomach was hurting or that she really felt like puking (we broke her a while back, and throwing up is like the worst thing in her world). She's now on the couch watching Netflix (Popeye earlier, now Dragon Tales). Well, who needs Plan A anyway?
*It helps sometimes to blame The Man. No one knows who that is, including me, but it's someone to take the fall. This defuses many situations.
Washed Out, "Eyes Be Closed." Because mellow is where it's at today. I have no idea what these guys are actually saying, so I Googled the lyrics, and wow, no one else does, either. (Ha.) Rising up you float outside yourself, find the source of light, fly home, you go mumble mumble, rising towards the light... (Close enough.)
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