Saturday, March 8, 2014

Our Tooth Fairy is AWESOME

I'm not sure how to write this without making Johanna look kind of gross, but anyway, the kid had a loose tooth for months and months and months, and even though it was basically hanging by a thread, she refused to just pull the dang thing and be done with it. She actually faints at the sight of blood, so she will never be in the medical field, I guess. Not the point. The point (-ish) is that she had that tooth in her head so long that eventually little bits of it would break off that she'd show us before tossing into the trash.

Last week, her tooth was all but gone, so we were pleading with her to just rip it out already. Maybe it was our word choices (oh, wait: No, it's the thought of the sight of blood), but she refused. But then she was all, what if my tooth falls out when I'm sleeping and I swallow it?, and we were all, nah, won't happen.

Guess what happened?

One thing motherhood has taught me is that I have a high threshhold when it comes to discussing poop. I'm not sure if you do, though, so let's Reader's Digest this thing and just say that Johanna was fairly certain she had expelled her tooth by the following evening.


Anyway, so the next morning, Eric is all, should I just leave a couple bucks on the toilet for Jo's tooth?, and I was like, that is AWESOME. DO IT. So he did. And left for work.

Johanna comes into the kitchen about five minutes later, holding a couple of bucks. She's totally confused. She's like, I found this money on the toilet but I don't know whose it is. Is it Abby's?, and I was like, ha ha ha! I bet the Tooth Fairy left that for you! And she was all, on the toilet?, and I was like, well, think about where that tooth ended up.

She turned slightly pink as the truth sunk in, shrugged, and put the money in her piggy bank. And I have been giggling about it ever since.

P.S. I am 95-percent certain Johanna knows who the Tooth Fairy is, but she's unwilling to go there. I'm cool with that.

P.P.S. I keep seeing all this Tooth Fairy stuff on Pinterest, like tiny Tooth Fairy letters and money origami-ed into little shapes. People, look, I don't want to be a downer, but do you know how many teeth a kid has in their mouth? Like a billion. And if you do that tiny letter or origami money thing even ONE TIME, it will be tradition and you will be doing it a billion more times. Do you want to be doing Tooth Fairy crafts at midnight one billion times? Just take a step away from the computer, breathe, and think this through, okay?
Yes, it's adorable. But not when you're scrambling
to even just find a dollar in the middle of the night.
You're welcome.

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