Just before you hit the floor

I'm having an IBS attack this morning, which is sort of exciting.  I don't think people realize how comfortable a bathroom floor can be.

It is sort of humiliating to have your seven-year-old walk in on you, though, and ask, "What are you doing on the floor?"  Both of the girls are well-versed in this sort of thing--they've seen it often enough--so they don't need much of an explanation.  But still I wonder what goes on in their minds when they see me like that.

My Abigail seems to be headed toward this lovely genetic predisposition (and I've prayed and prayed that she'd have Eric's stomach, but alas, apparently it's not to be), so while she is used to this happening, she also likes to speculate on what I got into.  Poor Abby.  It can't be easy seeing your mother on the floor and knowing that THAT will eventually be you.

I am so, so sorry, child.  You have no idea.

Eric seems to think it's because I have a wicked head cold (P.S. We were hoping to come visit this weekend, Ann, but I'm pretty sure you don't want this.  I'll call you later) and we had the humidifier going last night, which, in his opinion, just made the room "too damn hot."  Well, it did.  I can't argue with that.

Probably, though, it's because Monday I discovered that Peppermint Lifesavers are natural and bought a bag and have been munching on them ever since.  Peppermint Lifesavers are essentially just corn syrup and flavor.  And I don't do well with sugar in general, and corn syrup in particular.  (Don't get me started on high fructose corn syrup, the rat bastard.)  WHY don't I ever learn?  Honestly, this isn't rocket science.

Well, fine.  I've popped some drugs and I am telling myself that I am going to be well enough to go into work this morning as planned.  Because I WANT to, that's why.  I am upright at the moment, which is half the battle.

Irony: I'm going in early because our morning receptionist is taking the next two days off--her birthday was Monday and to celebrate she's going to an asparagus festival this weekend.  Think there's a plum festival in July somewhere?  Because that would be awesome.  Anyway, yesterday as I was trying to explain to Stacey why there were tears running down my face (hint: my throat was being a jerk), she was like, well, I hope you're well enough to come in tomorrow, but if you're sick, you're sick.  And I was like, wouldn't THAT be hilarious?  And she was all, not really, because that would mean an entire day up front by herself.  On a deadline day.

So that was my first thought as I hit the bathroom floor for a little R&R.

Side note: Eric is so awesome.  He usually goes to work by 7 a.m. because he's insane, but one look at me on the floor and he was all, okay girls, let's go!  And took over without any comment.  And brought me a glass of water.

Have I mentioned before that I really love him?

Linkin Park, Hit the Floor.  For obvious reasons.  "What goes up will surely fall and I'm counting down the time."