Friday, August 12, 2011

I Hate Everything About You, Safeway

Why I Hate Safeway, In No Particular Order:
  1. Safeway sucks.
  2. No local produce.
  3. Why is my card "invalid" all of a sudden?
  4. Why are only two lines ever open when there are clearly 10 stands that could be open?
  5. It's not fun standing in line for ten minutes.
  6. It's also not fun standing in the middle of an aisle while you wait in line, where ankles are vulnerable to smacking on passing carts.
  7. Self service check out?  No thank you--you need to do something nice for me if I'm going to put up with this crappy store, so making me feel guilty about not checking myself out is stupid.
  8. Too crowded.
  9. And adding a Starbucks and a bank just make it more crowded, not more convenient.
  10. Where's that meat from again?
  11. Can't find what I'm looking for.
  12. No pickling salt.  That is just wrong.
  13. Reusable bags are structurally deficient.  (It's not reusable if it rips on the first go.)
  14. Dumb piped music.
  15. Seriously, turn on the lights.
  16. You're not fooling anyone with your "savings card" scheme.  You're prices aren't that great.
  17. No Organic Valley Soy Milk.
  18. Weak on the organics.
  19. And no, I don't trust your Safeway organic brand.
  20. My favorite tote bag ripped on the exit door, which is clearly Safeway's fault.
  21. UPDATE:* You can never find a parking spot
  22. UPDATE: Limited selection of product on the shelves
  23. UPDATE: When was the last time you were in Safeway and someone offered to take your bags to the car for you?  For us, roughly 1998.
  24. UPDATE: Safeway Select?  That's called "irony."
That's not the end, but I'm getting tired of this.  I rarely go into Safeway anyway, but since my last trip, I remember why that is.  Safeway and I are breaking up for good.  

Have I mentioned that I hate Safeway?

*New reasons to hate Safeway, given to me by sources who will remain anonymous to protect their awesomeness, because I am selfish that way.  I will happily update as new reasons come in, should I hear any more, or am bored enough to come up with new ones myself.

Eric helped me pick out tonight's song: Three Days Grace, "I Hate Everything About You."  Sometimes I miss the obvious, so it's good I have Eric around.

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