Friday, March 22, 2013

Bored, border, bordest

I won't lie, people, I'm thinking of going all King Lear and plucking my left eyeball the hell out. "Out, vile jelly! Where is thy luster now?" I totally still remember that from senior year AP English, probably because it was the most disgusting thing I'd ever read. But I guess I should point out that it was Lear's daughters who orchestrated the whole eye removal, not Lear. He didn't do it on purpose. God, I really hate Shakespeare. Don't even get me started. Ain't nobody got time for that.

Where was I? Oh, yes. My pink eye seemed rather under control this morning, so I got all vain and decided to put on mascara. About mid day it felt like there was a needle sticking in my eyeball, and I couldn't keep from rubbing it. Now it's all slimy again. You can insert a whole string of very bad words here. I just don't have the energy.

Gah! It's nice to know that I really can get more disgusting. I thought I'd reached the limit. And P.S. That mascara is in the trash.

I kind of forgot that I was upset about Daylight Saving Time, what with the pink eye and the fact our school district is thinking about repositioning boundaries, which would send us to another school ten miles up the road. Since we're not even two miles from the school we go to now, damn right I'm fired up. Hell no, we won't go! I keep chanting that. Eric thinks I'm being silly. Don't look at me, I didn't make the protest rules.

In conclusion, I'm spending Friday night folding and putting away laundry. Things can't get that much sadder, can they?

Wait, can they?!

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